People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Have we ever thought about which factor is greater in influencing our actions and behaviors? Are we more influenced by outside factors or internal factors? One might claim that human being behavior are mostly affected by their surroundings. While others refute this opinion and will claim that it is one’s determination and efforts that highly influence in doing certain actions. I do agree with the latter part, it is our own willingness that drives us to do certain kinds of behavior.
Internal forces are essential in initiating and maintaining our behaviors, while external forces are only important in influencing us. Societal factors such as family, friends, and neighbors do influence us to behave in certain kind, but at the end it is our willingness to implement those behaviors. Take for example of Malala Yousufzai, a female educational rights activist and youngest Nobel prize awardee. It is in fact true that her father, a teacher, reinforced her the importance of education at a very tender age, but it was her sheer determination that assisted her in standing against terrorist to fight for girls’ education. Is it possible that only her father’s high regard for education enabled her to protest for girls’ equal right for education and persisted that act despite being attacked by the terrorist group? It is unlikely, it was her sheer determination that enabled her to stand against the Mafia. It proves that external factors do influence in carrying behaviors but not more than internal factors.
One might argue that it’s the societal factors that enabled some leaders to certain actions. It is valid that if those factors were not there, leaders may not have acted in a certain way. Take for instance, Mahatma Gandhi, a freedom fighter of India. He was upset and frustrated with the discrimination and injustice that the people of India faced. As a result of the British ruler’s cruel treatment to Indian civilians, he started protesting against it. In this case, it is true to say that the main reason for the start of his behavior is the outside factor, injustice by the British government. However, it is also possible that just like other people he may have thought that it is not feasible to change the ruling of British government. It was his willingness, at the end, which influenced him to fight against British rulers for the injustice. Thus, it proves that the inside factors are the main factor that enables one to do certain actions.
In the end, both the internal and external forces influence individuals to behave in a certain way. However, the most powerful in both forces is the internal force. Internal forces allows one to take the necessary actions in time of turmulouns while having only external forces does not allow one to take strenuous actions in the difficult time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 962, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that enables one to do certain actions. In the end, both the internal and extern...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 225, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ows one to take the necessary actions in time of turmulouns while having only ext...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, in fact, such as, as a result, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.3162921348 186% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 33.0505617978 197% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2386.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 471.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06581740977 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76028906643 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462845010616 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 739.8 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.1719364296 60.3974514979 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.4166666667 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.625 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.21951772744 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116377916502 0.243740707755 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0359895088763 0.0831039109588 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0352421149224 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0766519445277 0.150359130593 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.031780140385 0.0667264976115 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.1392134831 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 100.480337079 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.