Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
With the development of technology it has become quite easy to gain fame and recognition nowadays. Multiple social networks allow people to become celebrities with just little efforts. Indeed, young people are creating internet blogs about travelling or cooking, posting videos about how they sing or dance or just publish their photos and in some time they already have hundreds or even thousands of fans. But is this immediate fame
We live in the world that changes so rapidly that most of us cannot even catch up with all these changes. Today, being a vegetarian may be trendy and a person who writes articles about how to eat properly may be at the edge of fame. However, another day the World Health Organization may reveal that those who do not eat meat risk to develop some dangerous disease, and those who were big fans of vegetarian diet will switch to another blogger who posts videos with different recipes that contain meat. As a result, a vegetarian blogger who used to be popular and even made money from publishing his articles, may in the end become completely forgotten and lose his or her source of income. As trends change so fast, it is very important to try to identify those fields that will enable a person to earn money and be satisfied in the long rather than in the short run.
Another important thing is that being famous may be associated with some negative consequences. It is unlikely there is someone who has never heard about actors or models who became famous when they were young but then suddenly lost their popularity. Quite often when this happens it is hard to overcome especially for children. Such loss of fame and recognition may result in psychological problems or alcohol or drug abuse. Thus, one must think twice whether being famous even for a short period of time is really worth it. In many cases pursuing some ordinary but more stable and long-term career may bring more pleasure to one’s life.
Finally, being famous is hard. One should be prepared to a lot of attention and critiques that is impossible to avoid once a person gains popularity. To cope with all this, one should be very strong morally. Those who feel vulnerable to have their personal life disclosed to public attention should better pursue more realistic goals that once gained require less attention from other people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 434, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ands of fans. But is this immediate fame We live in the world that changes so rap...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...e whether being famous even for a short period of time is really worth it. In many cases pursu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, may, really, so, then, thus, as a result, in many cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1949.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 403.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83622828784 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43776288946 2.79657885939 87% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 215.323595506 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575682382134 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.4214149811 60.3974514979 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.277777778 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3888888889 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.55555555556 5.21951772744 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.143561956197 0.243740707755 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0486849380064 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0222669332829 0.0758088955206 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0893897428236 0.150359130593 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0133292551357 0.0667264976115 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.1639044944 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.