Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Questions surroundings who influences children’s success in school have been ongoing for many years, but they have increased ever since the development of technology. In fact, young people have become more independent and autonomous. While some people believe that children’s academic success is influenced by their fellow students, others believe that parents still influence their children’s choices. In my opinion, classmates have a more critical impact on children’s success in school. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First, young people tend to communicate more with classmates since they have the same age. Consequently, if a child is in a troublesome situation or has to make an important decision, he/she will ask to a classmate instead of his/her parents. Recent studies have confirmed that children can dramatically change their opinions and viewpoints due to friends. My cousin is a compelling example of this. When he was attending the elementary school, he was considered as straight-A student. After the beginning of high school, he changed his classmates and they had a serious impact on his personality. He became less and less interested in studying, he started smoking with his friends: to make a long story short, he decided to go to work when he was sophomore at high school. He is unemployed today and he has few job prospects. Thus, fellow colleagues influence children more than parents.
Second, young people do not enjoy talking with their parents since they sometimes have a conflicted relationship. Nowadays, children have become more and more attracted by the world of technology and they see parents as old-fashioned and conservative. My aforementioned cousin extremely loved playing video games and computer, while my uncle was anti-technology: he did not understand anything about the world of technological distractions. Besides, they usually argued since my cousin played continuously and seemed not to care about family. In my opinion, this conflict was one of the main causes which brought my cousin to make wrong decisions in his life, as I discussed in the above paragraph. Thus, children may prefer expressing their feelings with friends if they have troubles with his parents.
All in all, this essay discussed why young people’s success is more influenced by classmates. This is because they are prone to interact with someone who has their same age, and because they can have a hostile relationship with their parents.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 834, Rule ID: FELLOW_CLASSMATE[1]
Message: Use simply 'colleagues'.
Suggestion: colleagues
...day and he has few job prospects. Thus, fellow colleagues influence children more than parents. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, still, thus, while, as to, i feel, in fact, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2147.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 401.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35411471322 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09498111325 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536159600998 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.0623307654 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5909090909 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2272727273 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13636363636 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17714287207 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0602879554696 0.076458572812 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0495661403428 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115432994898 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.042035458325 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.