Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Being famous is something that is desirable from everyone, but there are some disadvantages that come with it. It is thought by some people that famous people do not have to have privacy because they have to share everything with their admires. Nevertheless, I oppose that view point. I firmly believe that renown people should keep their life private. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore as follows.
To begin with, the title that everyone carries with them throughout their lives it does not mean that whatever else they do should hold to that. People who are famous are ordinary people who had the opportunity because of their circumstances in that particular time to show their talent and share it with others. Therefore, they as other people on their right should have absolutely their privacy. For example, everyone is trying to accomplish something that they think they could reach, of course without a doubt the luck is part of the process, too. That does not mean that if they are successful should give up everything else like share everything with people that supported them or encourage them. That is why even if people are famous, they have their right as everybody else to keep their life private.
Secondly, we know that media is eager to fill their headlines with interesting news about the most famous people in the entertaining world. The admires of these people would tend to buy or tune in to find out more about them. Their curiosity is normal, but sometimes famous people may express opinions or relieve information, which could be turned out to be a bad impact on their fans. For instance, fans are always curious to know more about their favorite famous entertainers, such as actress or singers. Therefor, they sometimes may get inspire by what they do or what they say. If fans do not like something that they heard about them, then they would see them differently, even would not like them anymore. This negative impact is not going to be good for ether side. According to this, I believe that the privacy of famous people should be strongly respected not only by media but by them also.
To sum up, I strongly believe that prominent people deserve more privacy. This is because they are human as everybody else even though they are famous and because their privacy help them from preventing negative influence to their fans.
Comments
Hello, I would like to have…
Hello,
I would like to have a piece of advice from the e-grader team if that is possible. What should I change or do in order to get 24 in my essays ?
Thank you in advance.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 730, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...courage them. That is why even if people are famous, they have their right as eve...
^^
Line 5, column 896, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...respected not only by media but by them also. To sum up, I strongly believe that...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, i feel, of course, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1970.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 409.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81662591687 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40948304144 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464547677262 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 612.9 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.0499731079 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.8095238095 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4761904762 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.2380952381 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180013435542 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0631459728869 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0581308518797 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132421886843 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275655753526 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.