Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Development of technology has led to an increase in the number of entertainment sources helping a proportion of people to become such famous that other people wish to know more about celebrity’s private lives. From my point of view, the renowned people deserve a greater deal of privacy compared to the current conditions of society. This essay will explore a couple of reasons supporting my perspective in the following paragraphs.
First of all, renowned people should live a more private life due to the fact that they need serenity in order to carry out their jobs competently. To put it in other words, should people feel unsecured regarding the issues of their personal life, they will lose their concentration easily and cannot cope with the various problems and upcoming difficulties in their career path. Thus, their performance will diminish during the time, resulting in poor outcomes of their projects. For instance, a couple of years ago, a tremendously popular actor in my country, struggled with an anti-value scandal that people spread about him, and he never had done it. As a result, he put much effort in order to stop that gossip and did not have enough time and required tranquility to devote to his career. Hence, he dropped out gradually and never could gain his initial popularity again.
Secondly, celebrities could possess multiple secrets regarding contrasting aspects of their personal lives that they do not wish to reveal them to the public. In fact, a handful of secrets and mysteries have something to do with their prestige and can cause a large number of troubles for them. Therefore, these kinds of secrets ought to stick to people’s most profound layers of lives and never come out. I assume a compelling example can drive this notion home. A few years ago, on the newspaper came the news that covered a scandal in the private life of a famous soccer player. In fact, he had two spouses, and one of them killed the other one. People began to publicly criticize him, and consequently, the man totally lost his reputation. Although he was guilty of cheating and putting his family in jeopardy, he deserved to be condemned and punished privately.
On the whole, taking all the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I believe that celebrated people merit a higher degree of privacy in their personal lives. Not only do they require much peace to perform their professions, but they also need privacy to keep their secrets in their own lives.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 259, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...to do with their prestige and can cause a large number of troubles for them. Therefore, these kin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for instance, in fact, as a result, first of all, in other words, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 15.1003584229 13% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2089.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98568019093 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71825241049 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.560859188544 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 648.0 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2939688747 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.947368421 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0526315789 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.45110844103 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133826386272 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0399767320669 0.076458572812 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0325264126024 0.0737576698707 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0886431612027 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0229369717913 0.0645574589148 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.87 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.