Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job.Use specific reasons and examples to support you
Job is a vital part of persons’ life. All individuals need to look for appropriate profession during their lifetime to live better. Some people believe that children should select jobs which are different from their parents’ occupation, while others disagree completely and have an opposite opinion. In my view, I think that it is so essential for every teenagers follow their parents’ job for two important reasons that I will elaborate in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, when children choose their parents’ job, they know every details that are necessary to progress. If they want to start a new occupation initially, they should spend so much time, energy and money to learn it completely. Therefore, by conforming their parents’ job, they can focus on how to progress quickly. For example, when I was child, I worked with my father. He had a shoes store and he obtained it from his mother. I expended about ten years to work there. At first, it was so hard for me to do my task very well as I did not have any knowledge and experience. As over time, when I faced a problem, he taught me how to deal with it. Actually, I could learn how to sale more products. After he died, I continued his job in spite of my hesitation about my ability. As a result, I could expend my work and became the most renowned shoes store in the town. This experience shows me, should people follow their parents’ job, they can progress soon.
Second, when children opt for their parents’ job, they can get advice from them. In competitive market, if individuals make a tiny mistake, they may lose not only their profit but also their job. Hence, when they select a job which is similar to their parents’ job, they can get advice from their parents to avoid any error. For instance, again when I worked with my father as worker, sometimes I wanted to try new things to help him. One day, I decided to attract customers by talking them too much. Although I thought that it was good idea, I got bad outcomes. When I asked from him why I could not sell more despite my efforts, he taught me how much a seller should speak with them. I changed my method as he said. Therefore, I could sell a lot of shoes in one day. As you can see, people can be advised from their parents when they follow their job.
In conclusion, it is a integral part of success for children to select similar jobs to their parents’ occupation. It not only can help them to progress but also can assist them to get beneficial advice. They should try to pay attention to parents’ job to learn every details.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 22, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...follow their job. In conclusion, it is a integral part of success for children t...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, look, may, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, as a result, in my view, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 87.0 43.0788530466 202% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2129.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.5686695279 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52169298524 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495708154506 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 643.5 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 25.0 9.59856630824 260% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 14.0 3.51792114695 398% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.6433845109 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.4137931034 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0689655172 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.96551724138 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.395983822616 0.236089414692 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111964994995 0.076458572812 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114522147208 0.0737576698707 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279386094483 0.150856017488 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0594163122535 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.1 11.7677419355 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.93 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.