Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much money on clothing to improve their appearance.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples
Appearance is one way for people in showing their identity or characteristics to other people. Some even perceive appearances as a method of communication. Due to this, many believe that improving their appearances is important no matter the cost, but I believe that it is unimportant to improve appearances by spending too much money. The reason to why I believe in such way will be elaborated in more detail below.
First of all, spending too much money on appearance to fulfill their desire can lead to poor lives. As technology advanced, many people are using the Internet and social media to connect with multiple people. I would like to mention an example of my home country, South Korea, where negative consequences occurred after spending too much money on clothing. With multiple lockdowns due to Covid-19 pandemic, people started devoting their time on watching Youtube videos. This allowed them have a peek in how other people, specifically those who are rich, live. Rich people starring in Youtube videos always wore expensive and pretty clothes many admired, and caused multiple people to grow perspective that wearing such clothes would allow themselves to look rich. People started to spend a fortune on clothing that are way out of their budget only to fulfill their one desire, to look just like those rich people in the videos. Due to this, many people lost their mandatory valuables, such as cars and homes. The only thing they were left with were expensive clothes and nothing else.
Second, while outfits may be the first thing that people perceive when meeting a new person, it is not the only aspect people perceive as important. Having a nice characteristic and being smart is also mandatory. In the past, many parents spent their money on improving the personalities of their children. However, due to being able to connect with multiple people as mentioned above, one time relationships has become a popular phenomenon among teenagers. They started rebelling on their parents to force them to spend money on attractive outfits instead of utilizing it for self-improvement purposes. Due to this, many teenagers nowadays are lacking of intelligence and nice personalities.
To sum up, while appearance is one of the important factors in perceiving a person, people are spending far too much money on only improving their appearances. This can cause them to live poor lives and have lack of intelligence and nice personality.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, while, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2050.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09950248756 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80064153014 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509950248756 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 653.4 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8576264407 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.619047619 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1428571429 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.42857142857 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239327594648 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0714854963763 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0467212193457 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148016786917 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0340219294368 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.