Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Some lessons for young students (5-8 years old) increase their interest to learn, including video games. But some people believe it will distract young students.
In today's modern and sophisticated world, increasing students' interests in a class play a vital role in learning. In this connection, there are several avenues, which make learnings attractive for pupils. Although contested by many that the matter of adding video games into lessons to increase students' interests in learning is highly beneficial, some an issue is regarded as both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. I concur with the notion that classes with video games can be a plus for learners to become interested in courses, and I will analyze my reasons throughout this essay.
Firstly, the classes which include a video game prevent students from feeling tired, so lessons attract students to learn. To be more specific, if classes hold in the same situation, students will not experience new objects, so they gradually become tired during a class; hence, they won't pay attention to learn lessons. According to my own experience, when I was an elementary student, my teacher used one method to teach us. Therefore, our environment did not seem various lead to a reduction in students' concentration. As students felt sleepy during a class, they became distracted and did not enjoy learnings.
Secondly, that watching a video game provides an ideal opportunity for learners to communicate with classmates effectively, they become motivated to learn. To elucidate, when students study at formal class conditions, they rarely discuss with their classmates in a friendly way, so they cannot establish a firm relationship. As a result, they do not have a pleasant time in classes and do not enjoy spending time to learn lessons. For example, my son's school is based on a video game learning, so he has innumerable friends, and has an enjoyable moment at school; thus, the lessons become interesting for him to learn as he takes part in a class discussion with his friends. Otherwise, he does not enjoy participating in the class in which students are strange to him. Conspicuously, he was not interested to learn objects.
To conclude, while there are several arguments on both sides, I profoundly believe that learners are interested in learning when they watch a video game. Not only do video games make the classes' atmosphere fascinating, but they also help students to make friends.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 261, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a friendly way" with adverb for "friendly"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ey rarely discuss with their classmates in a friendly way, so they cannot establish a firm relati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 188, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'classes'' or 'class's', 'classis's'?
Suggestion: classes'; class's; classis's
... game. Not only do video games make the classes atmosphere fascinating, but they also h...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 265, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey also help students to make friends.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1951.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14775725594 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9413312642 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543535620053 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 599.4 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.5177182163 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.764705882 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2941176471 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35294117647 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296683921264 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104263998259 0.076458572812 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0508547244212 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197599676619 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.041344284476 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.