Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.

Nowadays, people are living in an amazing, competitive, and exciting world. Most of them are trying to be the first in their majors, therefore they are attempting and fighting without rest to achieve their goals. It is crystal clear that, when they are a successful person, they will be a famous person depends on their scale. Some of them in their region, others in their countries, and maybe in the world. Famous person has a very difficult life because of the technology, which make their lives like a video to show their personal life to others. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the statement, because of some reasons, two of which of great important are hereunder.

To begin with, a really important factor to be a successful in any filed is concentration. It paves the way for individual to be relax and does his or her best to reach the zenith. So, they need more privacy to keep their enigma and solve them personality without any distractions, which are causes by the news channel. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo, a famous, successful, and superstar in soccer, face a big problem with his tax in Spain. All the channels were talking about him and guessing about his feature without any concerning about him. Hence, this approach disturbs his concentration and he could not fulfill his best in rehearse-time and his function in the competition has reduced, for that the manager let him extra holiday to manage the event and recover his concentration. As a result, famous ones should do their routine duty their lives personally and take care to do not give any subject for "intelligent service" of news channels.

Moreover, famous guys must be careful about their privacy. They are a real hero and good paradigm for their fans. So they can influence to their youngest fans, hence, their privacy life may include lots of immoral behaviors, that must be hidden to others, as can have bad effect on others behavior. Fans, especially teenage ones, are really beloved with their heroes and do theirs habits. For instance, Johnny Depp, a sophisticated actor, had a lot of immoral behaving against his wife, Amber, because of alcohol-addicting. This bitter-event can impose his fans and maybe erect his youngest fans' personalities in a deviant way because of emulating his behavior. But if it had been a secret, it would have better and Johnny would maintain just a hero instead of this situation. Consequently, privacy plays a vital role in famous ones' lives that not only can keep them safe, but their fans moral's behavior also.

To sum up, by taking to account all of them above, privacy should be more by passing the time instead of loose it. It is really difficult to keep it, since, they live in a circumstances with a lot of cameras and journalists, but they can if they want it. The more privacy, the more concentration. The more privacy, the less distraction in society.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 283, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...en to others, as can have bad effect on others behavior. Fans, especially teenage ones...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 611, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a deviant way" with adverb for "deviant"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e erect his youngest fans personalities in a deviant way because of emulating his behavior. But ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 905, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...em safe, but their fans morals behavior also. To sum up, by taking to account all...
^^^^
Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a circumstance' or simply 'circumstances'?
Suggestion: a circumstance; circumstances
...fficult to keep it, since, they live in a circumstances with a lot of cameras and journalists, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, may, moreover, really, so, therefore, for example, for instance, talking about, as a result, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2417.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 499.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84368737475 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7945832504 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51503006012 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 753.3 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.3070378157 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.68 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.96 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14963825066 0.236089414692 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0468489218772 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0364399881492 0.0737576698707 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0996203125633 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0281456672615 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.