Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It goes without saying that in this sophisticated world we live, privacy has a pivotal rule in each family life in a society, which is undeniable. The level of privacy for famous people such as well known entertainers and athletes are entirely different with privacy level of ordinary people because they are always on media consideration. There has been a controversial debate among many people about the very notion that the famous people are entitled to have more privacy than they have now. In my point of view although it may seem that they are in competition with each other to have more reputation and popularity but they have personal family like other member of society therefore they decisively need privacy for the survival of their family. Reasons to substantiate my view point are elaborated upon hereunder.
First and foremost privacy is a substantial factor for family survival that lack of it can cause a lot of problems, and even the worst of all will lead to the disintegration of the family. Although it seems that celebrities have luxury and happy life but research shows that they are not only dissatisfied but also in many cases have some mental disorders due to their lifestyle. For example the simplest life events such as, strolling with their child in a park without any tension is an unreachable achievement, john dark, a pop star said that he never go to the park with his son and his son always said him“ I wish you were not a pop star “.the more famous, the more problems.
The second reason which should be taken to the consideration, the well-known athletes and entertainers are the most prominent models for the kids and their fans. Therefore they should be always cautious in their behavior and activities due to children can simply influenced by these renowned persons. Being always in adorable mode is overwhelming because they are also human and mistake is an inseparable part of human life. For example one of my close friends, Bob, is a famous athlete in our city and has a lot of fans. He always is smiling and cheerful in public place but I know that he has some degree of depression and most of time his smile is artificial. Statistics has shown that the rate of mental disorders between celebrities is more than other people.
To sum up, there is a controversy about privacy in famous people life we are convinced that celebrities as a member of human society and like the other members have a right to have privacy in their individual life. The government should act to curb the media laws about private life of well-known people.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 691, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...os;.the more famous, the more problems. The second reason which should be taken ...
^^^
Line 3, column 163, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ent models for the kids and their fans. Therefore they should be always cautious in their...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 526, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'is'.
Suggestion: is always
...e in our city and has a lot of fans. He always is smiling and cheerful in public place bu...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, for example, such as, in many cases, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2142.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 448.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78125 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67800217165 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477678571429 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 696.6 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.6977258495 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.875 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.375 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256077284632 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0799796748726 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694739113536 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153814954884 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0707217390765 0.0645574589148 110% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 11.7677419355 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.