Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this progressive world we live children are the foundation of the society who their education has been always a momentous issue. There has been a controversial debate among many people about the very notion whether encouraging, giving money, school going children after each high score is beneficial? in my point of view although it may seem this policy may make kids so demanding but beside teaching money management techniques it can be set them in an accurate way that is not only helpful for their future but also impressive. The reasons to substantiate my view-point are elaborated upon hereunder.
Nowadays with the advancement of technology, life style of many people has been enhanced and the welfare of their life has been increased, in the other hand psychologists believe that the amount of motivation of children for education has been decreased and they are not willing for education as much as past. Therefore parents should plan to encourage their children to get high score in school. Money is one of the best stimuli for all people particularly for children who don't have any revenue source. To illustrate this point one only needs to refer my cousin, Alex, who is brilliant and astute student but he was not motivated for doing his homework and studying therefore his parents after consulting with a famous psychologist decided to offer him money and after that he affords to get high score in his lessons. Hence money is always a tempting stimulus and it works especially for kids who have no money for themselves. The more money, the more motivation.
Some people emphasize that giving money to school-age children is not right because they may spend money on the risky way. But experts express that children should be paid by money as rewards to learn how manage, how spend and how save money because this will greatly help them in the future. In addition it leads to strengthen their self-confidence. For instance my cousin Alex after receiving some money because of his enhancement in school he could save his money and purchased a toy that he always had dreams of having. Statistics have shown that children who have learned cost management since childhood are more successful than other kids in the field of economy. so giving money as a reward beside of controlling and teaching money management is not only an advantageous means but also much more beneficial for the future life.
To sum up, there is a controversy about offering money to kids as bonus for their grades we are convinced that offering money can motivate children to make more effort and give them some confidence and prepare them for future life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...en after each high score is beneficial? in my point of view although it may seem t...
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Message: Consider replacing "in an accurate way" with adverb for "accurate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...anagement techniques it can be set them in an accurate way that is not only helpful for their futu...
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...w-point are elaborated upon hereunder. Nowadays with the advancement of technol...
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Suggestion: Therefore,
... willing for education as much as past. Therefore parents should plan to encourage their ...
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Suggestion: don't
...ll people particularly for children who dont have any revenue source. To illustrate ...
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Suggestion: Hence,
...fords to get high score in his lessons. Hence money is always a tempting stimulus and...
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Suggestion:
.... The more money, the more motivation. Some people emphasize that giving money ...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...ill greatly help them in the future. In addition it leads to strengthen their self-confi...
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Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'had' and 'dreams'.
Suggestion: had always dreams
...e his money and purchased a toy that he always had dreams of having. Statistics have shown that c...
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...han other kids in the field of economy. so giving money as a reward beside of cont...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, so, then, therefore, for instance, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2223.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90728476821 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64386550414 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487858719647 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 706.5 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 9.59856630824 10% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 77.5965967934 48.9658058833 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.764705882 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6470588235 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94117647059 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279357438939 0.236089414692 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0974077337288 0.076458572812 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0611588519435 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182370086039 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0244037175503 0.0645574589148 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.