In order to attract more tourists, the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets. Which
why do you think is more effective?
In today’s industrialized world, the tourism industry provides a considerable portion of a country‘s revenue. In this vein, governments have been struggling to seek appropriate ways to attract more tourists. While some people hold the opinion that social security is a staple issue which is initially concerned by tourist, so the government should hire more police to enhance the security level, others stand at the other side of the continuum, believing that the city appearance is in priority, and the government should make the form of cities more appealing. In my point of view, in the first place, the security of a country plays a pivotal role in absorbing tourists and visitors. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, tourists are enthusiastic about traveling to a place where individuals are provided by financial and human security. To put it in other words, tourists before traveling investigate about the place where they would travel there, so they originally consider whether they will be secure or will be threatened by some hazardous. Next, they will consider the beauty and the charm factor. Therefore, the government, in the beginning, should equip the country security system by hiring more police. To illustrate this point one needs only refer to Mexico that is a beautiful country, but it is not the favorite destination of tourists around the world owing to the lack of security and high crime rate.
Furthermore, adverse events occurring for tourists spread quickly rather than a pleasant experience. In this vein, when the security level of a town is low while there are enormous extraordinary landscapes, the negative comments about the social insecurity will be distributed in the tourist information center, for example, some websites on the internet. Consequently, this harmful advice will dissuade passengers who decided to travel to this area. An example can drive this notion home. My friend, Sarah, who is a prosperous tour guide in our picturesque city, explained after a catastrophic occurrence happening for a foreign tourist in our city, the number of tourist coming to this area was dramatically reduced.
To sum up, based on all argumentations stated above, one can logically draw a consequence that government should provide the security of the community before repairing the ancient building and streets. Since tourists initially are keen to travel to secure places, besides a dramatic event can lead to a detrimental impact on future tourists.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 343, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... detrimental impact on future tourists.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in other words, to begin with, to sum up, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2148.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 404.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31683168317 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96376344129 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579207920792 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 689.4 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.1648011678 48.9658058833 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.352941176 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7647058824 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.45110844103 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.104000426167 0.236089414692 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0334687228318 0.076458572812 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605139594755 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0680716985108 0.150856017488 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0618811702279 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.62 8.01818996416 120% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 86.8835125448 143% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.