Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the rapid development of social media, it is easy to get information about social celebrities at any moment. Admittedly, advanced communication equipments enable us to get closer to those famous people we love. However, their privacy has been offended and more space should be left to the famous.
To begin with, It is not their duty to display their private life to the public. Those entertainers are famous for their exquisite acting skills while those athletes are admired by so many people for outstanding physical abilities. Some may claim their salary is far more than any other occupations. But actually, they deserve it since they have made a lot of effort and deserve it. Usually, they make profit through advertising a certain products, performing in shows or taking part in stressful competitions. Those business can not be done by ordinary people like you and me and they are very demanding both at techniques and appearance. Therefore, there is no reason for the public to demand more private information about their beloved stars.
Secondly, leakage of personal life will have bad influence on the celebrities. As is reported in recent news, Justin Bieber, a world-famous Canadian singer admits that he abused drugs when he was sixteen years old. Actually, such bad conducts are quite common in entertaining or sports circle because people in it usually shoulder heavy psychological pressure. Every time going out of their house, they will be followed by paparazzi, and thus can not enjoy normal life with their family or friends. What is more, some images released on the Internet can easily be misunderstood, and they will be criticized and scolded by the whole society. Things listed above will cause huge stress on them, which may lead to misbehavior, indulging themselves in alcohol, over-eating, taking drugs, for example.
Last but not the least, not only will exposing stars' privacy damage celebrities's mood, it also has negative affect on common people. Since famous people normally have a large sum of income, and usually live a luxurious life. Showing every detail of their personal life will conduct star chasers to see unreal living status, which may never come true for most classes in the society. However, it is human's instinct to desire for a better life. In that case, ordinary citizens may suffer from the huge gap between ideal paradise, which is the lifestyle of celebrities and reality, i.e. their own life. What is more, some people are so crazy about a certain figures that they exert themselves to imitate their idol’s behaviors regardless of their own financial capability. Unfortunately, there is high possibility that they may end up lose credit in banks or be tangled by stressful loan.
As fans or just passers-by, we should focus on celebrities professional performance instead of their personal life. And the best way to support them is to leave enough space for both them and their beloved ones. If everyone did so, not only those famous people ,but also us will gain peace and serene in heart. In conclusion, I am firmly against the idea to expose more privacy of superstars to ordinary people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 440, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'product'?
Suggestion: product
...ke profit through advertising a certain products, performing in shows or taking part in ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 39, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'expose'
Suggestion: expose
... Last but not the least, not only will exposing stars privacy damage celebritiess mood,...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 109, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...celebritiess mood, it also has negative affect on common people. Since famous people norm...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 261, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...one did so, not only those famous people ,but also us will gain peace and serene i...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, to begin with, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2651.0 1977.66487455 134% => OK
No of words: 522.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0785440613 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68472561872 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 298.0 212.727598566 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.570881226054 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 848.7 618.680645161 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.182344788 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.1851851852 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3333333333 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.18518518519 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1639896265 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0451509197908 0.076458572812 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0393388797311 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0955171108325 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0374241261037 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 86.8835125448 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.