Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The question of how our leisure time should be spent has been debated for many years. Many people feel that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, but I hold the opposite opinion. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, people spend more time working than ever before, which means that broadly speaking, individuals are spending a lot of time doing things that they should be doing. Studies indicate that we spend more time at our offices than ever before, and that smart phones and internet access means that people continue to work even when they are not being paid. My own experience is a compelling example of what I mean. I work for a large investment banking firm where my scheduled workday is from nine o’clock to five o’clock, but I actually average about eight hours of overtime every week. I do not do this because I enjoy it, but because I feel a sense of obligation to provide a service to my company and earn money for my family. Everyone at my firm does the same thing. We often compare ourselves to our parents, who almost never worked overtime nor took weekend calls and e-mails from their bosses. It seems like the present generation emphasizes professional obligations over personal enjoyment.
Secondly, it seems to me that many popular leisure activities include a self-improvement aspect, which means that even our hobbies fall into the realm of what we should be doing. One of the most popular pasttimes these days seems to be long distance running, an activity which is also incredibly beneficial for our health. Another perfect example is the way I spend most of my free time working out at a local gym. Although this is certainly enjoyable for me, part of why I do it is that it keeps me strong, healthy and fit. This makes me both a better family man and a better employee. I consider all of these to be things that I should be deeply concerned about.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that people today do not spend an inordinate amount of time doing things that they like to do. This is because people work longer hours than ever before, and because even our personal hobbies tend to involve an aspect of obligation.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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The question of how our leisure time sho...
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Suggestion:
...will explore in the following essay. First of all, people spend more time wor...
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Line 3, column 1007, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...emphasizes professional obligations over personal enjoyment. Second...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bligations over personal enjoyment. Secondly, it seems to me that many popul...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... I should be deeply concerned about. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, second, secondly, so, broadly speaking, i feel, i mean, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1858.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 396.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69191919192 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52857861763 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535353535354 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 579.6 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8433373176 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.7894736842 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8421052632 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.84210526316 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286156077741 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0895539844302 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123388912503 0.0737576698707 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19794166811 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107980465131 0.0645574589148 167% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.