Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Parents want to motivate their children to study more for getting good grades by using different means. Some parents present gifts while others promise to give money for having good results in exams. In my view, parents should not offer money as an incentive to get higher grades in exams. I think this way for two main reasons which I will discuss throughout the following essay.
Firstly, offering money to the children kills the hidden talent of the young children. This teaches the them that getting good grades is important than any other things. They spend their whole day by studying to have a good result. But the famous persons like Mark Jukerberg or Bill gates did not have great results and they did not stand first or second in classes. If a student has interest in Math or in science, he /she doesn’t need to spend time in reading other subjects, rather they should focus more on math or other interested subjects to specialize on that subject. The incidence of my cousin is useful here. My aunt used to give money to his son to encourage him to study because he didn’t have desire to read. He loved to play cricket with his friend. As a result, studied only for the money but couldn’t do well. One day I told her not to do that and she listened to me. After that my brother continued study with poor result but he is a famous cricketer now. Consequently, everybody admires him for his playing.
Secondly, offering money the parents help their child to yearn for money either by honest or dishonest ways. Eventually, they can use illegal ways like bringing notes or watching mobile phones or other devices to have a higher grade in exams. By this, parents are helping them to be dishonest persons from early ages. because of the greediness, they may be expelled from the exam which will be a shame for the parents. For instance, one of my friends in school used It was continued and as we were in a higher grade, the lessons found too hard to pass in the exam. But he wrote the answers in a paper and carried that with him in the exam hall. Fortunately, the teachers could not notice his action and it gave him the confidence to use that. But during the last exam, he was caught and expelled from the school.
To conclude, I want to say by offering money to the children, parents kill their children's possibilities hidden inside and gradually make them dishonest.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'them'?
Suggestion: the; them
...ent of the young children. This teaches the them that getting good grades is important t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 319, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...o be dishonest persons from early ages. because of the greediness, they may be expelled...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, for instance, i think, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1977.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 428.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6191588785 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40139068473 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53738317757 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.8957306302 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.08 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.12 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30939629826 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0824075554833 0.076458572812 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.059131834425 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198393365684 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0655662218737 0.0645574589148 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.22 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.