Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today's modern world, education plays a crucial role in the progress of our life. Parents apply myriad types of manners to persuade their children to have good performance in their educational life, one of which is, rewarding them with the money. it, like a double-edged sword, has both advantageous and disadvantageous. I, personally, subscribe to the viewpoint that suggesting the young children money, to encourage them to study well could have numerous destructive effects on them. The following paragraphs will elaborate more on this issue.
First and foremost, school-age children who are neglecting hardworking, need to understand the value of studying itself. By giving them money, they become conditional, expecting to gain money whenever they try to succeed. however, of course, we all know that knowledge, besides its other benefits, has innate worthiness. Unlike the children who have intrinsic enthusiasm to learn new concepts, ideas, and facts, these kids become voracious to achieve more money. As a consequence, they lose their tendency for the education itself. As a case in point, I would like to recount a personal story. I have two aunts, one of which did all of her efforts to help his son to be successful in his school by rewarding money and toys. The other, however, did not interfere with her daughter's education by such behaviors. As time goes by, the boy abandons his education after high school, pursuing a well-payed job. Nonetheless, my other cousin, enter MIT university after her graduation from high school. this example could clearly demonstrate the negative effects of such treatment methods.
Furthermore, thanks to advanced psychological breakthroughs, nowadays we access to multifarious types of scientific methods of pedagogy and upbringing. In these new methods, both punishment and accomplishment are strictly banned. Because of its adverse influences on young children. In fact, it prevents children's mental development. A mentally grown-up adult can easily weigh the merits and demerits of some specific action and decide to do it or not. however, if someone, for his entire life, just has been encouraged, by rewards, to do something, he would be incapable of distinguishing the drawbacks and the benefits of something, regardless of its financial value and income. As a recently conducted research at McGill university, demonstrates, children between 9 and 12 which are free to decide on their own responsibility, had more powerful academic performances in school exams. Hence, it is crystal clear that following new psychological methods could bring us more advantageous.
Drawing upon the aforementioned reasons, the demerits of encouraging the children with money to do enough efforts in their educations, sugar-coat its merits. Not only does it make them ignore the innate value of science and knowledge, but it also deprive them to develop their potential mental capability of recognition of the consequences of their acts and reacts.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...hich is, rewarding them with the money. it, like a double-edged sword, has both ad...
^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ain money whenever they try to succeed. however, of course, we all know that knowledge,...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 995, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... after her graduation from high school. this example could clearly demonstrate the n...
^^^^
Line 9, column 231, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...and accomplishment are strictly banned. Because of its adverse influences on young chil...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 454, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ific action and decide to do it or not. however, if someone, for his entire life, just ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 685, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[5]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recently conducted research'.
Suggestion: recently conducted research
...s of its financial value and income. As a recently conducted research at McGill university, demonstrates, chi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 248, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'deprives'?
Suggestion: deprives
...e of science and knowledge, but it also deprive them to develop their potential mental ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, nonetheless, so, thus, well, in fact, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 468.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41452991453 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09597614704 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594017094017 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 772.2 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.8855080715 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4615384615 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11538461538 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211475746173 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0489720393506 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0407785210472 0.0737576698707 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116263418909 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036878108621 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.8 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.39 8.01818996416 117% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 86.8835125448 166% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.