Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Children have an influential and tremendous impact on our nation progress. In fact, it is utterly important to provide them with a vast array of acknowledgment that will, in turn, reflect positively on their future success and on their well-being with welfare. However, I believe that children should not be given money for any grade they will get at school because this will reflect negatively on their educational level and their acquiring attributes. In the following paragraphs, I will explain my opinion more clearly.
To begin with, children are obsessed with the new technological developments that happen within the contemporary era that have a spectacular breakthrough many spheres. Indeed, they are still not completely mature and not considerate. So, their parent should not endow them money because they may use them in an inappropriate manner. For instance, my parents used to give my little brother a reward for each high score he took at the middle school and because he is fascinating and fend in possessing smartphones, he bought one form his collected rewards. As a result, he began to squander his spare time in tempting to use these gadgets which had a bad impact on his intellectual ability and he began to flunk in his exams. Thus, these rewards deemed as a retrogression way that causes his study stagnation. In conclusion, parents should not provide their kids money at early ages because may affect their studying career and instead they can motivate them by registering them in a sports club to spend their leisure time perfectly.
Second, it is vital to establish a strong bond for the large social network from an early age because it is an essential role in their future jobs success. In fact, children if they have any amount of money, they will sway to buy one of the new innovations that will humber their communication with the surrounding people. For example, at the school, the teachers create a friendlier atmosphere that will help the students to express themselves easily and clearly by engaging in a conversation with each other and learn how to cooperate efficiently and collaborate effectively. Thus, such a collaborative environment will enhance their social skills immensely. On the other hand, those who used to waste their free time in using their cellular phones, they tend to be isolated and they will be more vulnerable to a vast array of obstacles because they lack such a skill. In the same hand, constant exposure to the electromagnetic radiation of these devices will lead to much adverse health effect on their brain because they are still in the developmental stages. Consequently, the children should not be allowed to get money because this will affect their interpersonal relationships dramatically.
To sum up, there many safe ways to motivate the kids to get high scores better than the money. Hopefully, parents will assist their children to carve out and harvest the high grades without money because they are still immature and they will waste them in misleading ways.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 307, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an inappropriate manner" with adverb for "inappropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ow them money because they may use them in an inappropriate manner. For instance, my parents used to give ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, may, second, so, still, thus, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2540.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 502.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05976095618 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84999826653 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519920318725 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 783.9 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.498173884 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.0 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5 5.45110844103 174% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242802214351 0.236089414692 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077305869568 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588021245388 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168248290465 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0101632582212 0.0645574589148 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 86.8835125448 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.