some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade they get
These days, parents do a lot of efforts for their children to provide a convinient life for them that influence on their future. One of the most important aspects of life is education. If parents can convince their child that how much learning can affect on their lives, they will able to train successful children. Some people are of the opinion that paying money to students as a award when they earn a good mark in school can be a motivation for them. But I believe that this idea can have some negative effects on student. I feel this way because of two reason that I will explore on the essay.
First, giving money to children because of their good mark in school teach them a negative point that means if they do a good job even for themselves, they have to give money. This believe has a lot of harmful consequenses on their future, and they will face many problems because of their high expectation from others. For instance, my brother was not interested in school. So my father decided to motivate him. He promised to my brother. If my brother had passed his test, my father would have given a great deal of money to him. By this way, he was studying his lessons as well. But now, he is a adult person and he is thinking everyone has to pay money to him for each task that he does.
Secondly, all students have to learn the values of their goals and try to overcome their obstacles to reach their aims. They should understand that each effort that they do will make their future. As a result, if they will be outstanding in their education, its consequenses will appear on their lives not their parents. So by paying money to students to incourage them to study, not only stop them knowing the value of the goals but also show them their endeavors benefits their parents not themselves.
In conclusion, it is not a good way or motivating students to pay them money. by this manner, they will grow up as person who expects others a lot, and never try enough to reach his or her wishes.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 249, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
... their child that how much learning can affect on their lives, they will able to train su...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 381, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...pinion that paying money to students as a award when they earn a good mark in sch...
^
Line 3, column 182, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...emselves, they have to give money. This believe has a lot of harmful consequenses on th...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 598, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ing his lessons as well. But now, he is a adult person and he is thinking everyon...
^
Line 7, column 79, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: By
... motivating students to pay them money. by this manner, they will grow up as perso...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, well, as to, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1636.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.44565217391 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35631516823 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497282608696 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 491.4 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.380179806 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.8 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319338016939 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0925230834409 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0765568730782 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187812846984 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0790112754206 0.0645574589148 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 78.59 58.1214874552 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.53 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 86.8835125448 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.