Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
It goes without saying that in this progressive and complicated world where we live, education is one of the most important building blocks of society. In this regard, many experts have a long-lasting debate about the best methods of educating. While some individuals believe that giving money to children for a high grade is a useful way, others stand at the other side of the continuum, holding the opinion that this idea is totally wrong. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter notion and the reasons to substantiate my point of view are presented in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, it is no secret to anyone that education is one of the most important factors which affect children's life. To be more specific, if educators do not devote appropriate ways of educating, kids will not be successful in their future. Students need to understand that it is their task to get a good mark in their lessons, not only to satisfy their parents but also to learn their education material truly. In this vein, learners must know the value of learning, and parents and educators have a huge responsibility to raise children with a healthy mind. For example, when I was a secondary school student, one of my friends received precious gifts from his parents since he got a good mark, but this way deprived him to learn books deeply, and in high school, it had aftermath to him. As a result, his score dropped dramatically and he could not enjoy his lessons.
Furthermore, it is crystal clear that giving money or buying favorite items for children due to a high score usually has negative effects. Honestly, these days, a majority of parents are sensitive about their children, as a result, purchasing the gift and paying money to students sow the seed of bad raising. An example can bring this fact home. When I was a primary school student, I had a cousin who their parents always bought her different presents when she got a high score. Consequently, after a few years, it became a bad habit for her to gave a gift when she did household tasks too. My uncle continued this manner and he thought this kind of approach would help his girl. Finally, now, she commands his father to buy her a unique car which it is really expensive and his father can not say her no.
In conclusion, having the aforementioned reasons and points into account, I do believe that paying money to children for getting high scores has side effects. Not only it causes children do not find out the real value of lessons but also it leads to harmful behavior and manner for kids.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 876, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lly and he could not enjoy his lessons. Furthermore, it is crystal clear that gi...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 797, Rule ID: SAY_TELL[1]
Message: 'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean 'tell'?
Suggestion: tell
...really expensive and his father can not say her no. In conclusion, having the af...
^^^
Line 3, column 809, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sive and his father can not say her no. In conclusion, having the aforementioned...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, furthermore, honestly, if, really, second, so, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2114.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 455.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64615384615 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58894755421 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551648351648 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 648.9 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.5155014911 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.263157895 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9473684211 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.94736842105 5.45110844103 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285234639016 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0757377598073 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0601930729247 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165357121292 0.150856017488 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0227313796715 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.