Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Giving the motivation to children with the aim of ameliorate their academic performance have plenty of instrumentalities. Some parents tend to let children have the spare time to do the thing they want, such as playing video games or watching television, while other prefer to give their children the money. In my opinion, providing children money may let them procure a bunch of benefits. In what follow I will elaborate on my perspective.

First and foremost, children can employ the money to purchase whatever they like, which will give them the momentum to work harder. For example, provided that parents offer children ten dollars whenever they secure the score above A, children can utilize it to buy the video games, which can let them relieve. This may also have the benefit for their study quality because according to some research people who are fully relax in their spare time may release some chemical substance which can connect the node in their brain, which in turn can make them more concentrate on their latter work. Therefore, providing children money can not only make them feel delight in their free time but also improve their studying efficiency.

In addition, after children garner the money, they can also learn about the money management. They will contemplate about the how to exercise those money carefully, which lead them to allocate their money correctly in their future. For instance, after children acquire ten dollars, they may decide to buy the toys or store it in the blank , which could earn the interest. However, if they want to purchase the extremely expensive thing, they may know that accumulate the money is very significant. Therefore, they may learn that in order to possess the gorgeous thing they need to store their money and do some investment. This may be very helpful for their future because they may know that with a view to buy a house they ought to use their salary smart. Hence, giving children money is a lesson about money management.

To sum up, offering children money if they get a great score may let them attain high efficiency of studying by virtue of fully relax in their spare time. Moreover, they may also have a grasp of money management, which may be useful for their future. It is evident that parents should provide children money if they do gorgeous on academic work.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'relaxed'.
Suggestion: relaxed
...g to some research people who are fully relax in their spare time may release some ch...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 123, Rule ID: THE_HOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'how'?
Suggestion: how
...management. They will contemplate about the how to exercise those money carefully, whic...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 143, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...l contemplate about the how to exercise those money carefully, which lead them to allocate ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 339, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...to buy the toys or store it in the blank , which could earn the interest. However,...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 9.8082437276 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1950.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89949748744 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45401677929 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482412060302 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 609.3 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.681193093 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.333333333 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1111111111 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.22222222222 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250372309761 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103612095267 0.076458572812 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0425675630307 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184157614357 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368272848131 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.