Some people like to keep a record of their own experiences by uploading pictures and other information to social-networking sites. Other people prefer not to create such records.Which approach do you prefer, and why?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this progressive and sophisticated world, where we are living, people spend most of their time on social networks and put some information about daily life. There has been a controversial debate among people living in this contemporary era as to whether uploading private pictures and information to such platforms is not a wise idea. From my perspective, keeping records of experiences and sharing them in social network, people being young an old cannot benefits through it, and two reasons to support my view are presented as follows.
To begin with, informing other people especially stranger of our personal information, we jeopardize our safety. It is not a secret to any one that by the growth and development of technology a lot of problems have emerged as well; there are some people and thieves seeking such opportunities to take the advantage of our ignorance to make money or quench their thirst. To put it in more vivid picture, my best friend Sara used to put all her daily activities on Instagram, meaning that other people could be informed of her every little activities; one day when she decided to go on a trip and posted it on social network. Unfortunately, a thief used the valuable information and took the advantage of my friend's absence to still all of furniture and valuable objects like gold. Had Sara been more careful and strict about publishing her personal information, the thief would not steal such precise objects.
Furthermore, doing so, uploading pictures and experience, members of a society will definitely have difficulty feel satisfied with the living. It is crystal clear that everybody has its own life and challenges, but they prefer not to share such negative information with other people, meaning other people using social networks will misunderstand. Watching all happy and luxury pictures makes people discontent and leas society to materialism, which is toxic and detrimental for the progress of communities since people do not care anything but looking rich and beautiful in front of other. In no situation will people of these kinds of societies be able to make a breakthrough in the economic or facilitate the way they are living. As you can see, users, who use different platforms, especially young generation will turn into individuals who do not understand or even care about important moral principles and concepts In sum, not only will people have difficulty feeling secure, they will also turn into materialistic individuals.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 272, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... people living in this contemporary era as to whether uploading private pictures and informat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 135, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'anyone'?
Suggestion: anyone
...rdize our safety. It is not a secret to any one that by the growth and development of t...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o turn into materialistic individuals.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, look, so, still, well, as to, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2108.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11650485437 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88623974509 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.582524271845 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 670.5 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 20.1344086022 154% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.0805757276 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 162.153846154 100.406767564 161% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.6923076923 20.6045352989 154% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46153846154 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.340060790936 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108774664449 0.076458572812 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0657020966842 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210743866243 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0346670625219 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 11.7677419355 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.01 58.1214874552 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.1575268817 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.01 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.0537634409 143% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.