Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
It goes without saying that having good grades during the course of study is really important for everyone. There has been a controversial debate among parents as to whether giving children some money for their high marks is an effective way to encourage them. From my perspective, giving money to children as a gift for their good grades is not a great idea, and two reasons to support my viewpoint are presented as follows.
To begin with, giving children money for high marks, parents will prevent them from turning into successful individuals in the future. It is not a secret to anyone that money is a good motive for humans, but studying is the main responsibility of students which create their professional lives. Giving reward for doing important tasks, parents will encourage kids to increase their expectations. No longer will children continue studying hard for their materials when parent do not give them money because there is no reward for them which is detrimental. Becoming reluctant to study and to have good scores, kids will have difficulty getting higher GPA, which is a momentous factor to get a decent job in the future. Children, therefor, are more likely to fail finding a career when they grow up. As you can see, money is not a significant motive to encourage children to continue studying since they are doing their major duty.
Furthermore, given money as reward for high grades, students will have some problems in their personal lives. It is clear that receiving money every time, kids will be used to paying money and they will be obsessed with it. I am of the opinion that money is a main factor for different crimes and had behaviors since people throughout history have met their needs and fulfilled their financial obligations with the help of money, it is so typical that they be obsessed with it and turn into materialistic individuals and children receiving money are not an exception; therefor kids will prefer money upon everything else. To put it in more vivid picture, my parents used to pay my brother for every good grade after a while my brother became so ambitious that he preferred money upon everything and lost his friends because of his obsession. Had my parents not paid him money, ha would not lose so many friends.
In sum , not only will children have difficulty being successful, they will also have problems in their personal lives.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 48, Rule ID: DURING_THE_COURSE_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'during'.
Suggestion: during
... without saying that having good grades during the course of study is really important for everyone....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...en a controversial debate among parents as to whether giving children some money for their hi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... would not lose so many friends. In sum , not only will children have difficulty ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, really, so, while, as to, in fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1987.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87009803922 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57757378825 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487745098039 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 615.6 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.6473862401 48.9658058833 150% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.1875 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315191278717 0.236089414692 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12192933281 0.076458572812 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0492208691572 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200669036551 0.150856017488 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.081416869333 0.0645574589148 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.