Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people age 14 18 to do in their spare time Why Getting practical work experience either at a part

Essay topics:

Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (age 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
Getting practical work experience either at a part-time job or by volunteering in the community
Learning to play a sport
Learning to play a musical instrument

It goes without saying that in this highly sophisticated world where we live, human beings have been struggling to find a way to live every moment of their and enjoy the passing of time instead of being regretful about the time passage. In this regard, every individual, being the young generation or senior citizens, try to find a way to spend their leisure time. While some young people prefer to work part time in order to gain expertise, some others prioritize learning to play a sport of a musical instrument. As far as I am concerned, I consider learning to play a musical instrument much more beneficial for the youngsters and the reasons to support my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, having a good command of playing a musical instrument of any kinds and focusing on this talent on one's spare time, will help the young people to improve their state of the mind and their intellectuality. It is no secret to anyone that music has been considered as one of the most influential elements in human kinds' lives since a long time. It has also been proven that playing a musical instrument professionally or amateurly in one's free time will increase the person's intellectual ability and subsequently has a positive impact on the person's mentality. An example will drive this notion home. While I was a high school student, I used to play cards or watch television in my free time. Having consulted with a psychology, I changed the way I used to fill my leisure time in order to get the most out of my life. Instead of watching television which had adversely affected my life, I learnt playing the guitar. After three months or so of learning to play guitar, I could feel the change not only in my confidence but also in my mental ability.
Moreover, learning to play a kind of musical instrument in young people's spare time will shed light on their future occupation and on discovering their passion toward the future. In this line of thought, if young generation learn playing an instrument, they can take advantage of it both to improve their mental ability and to gain knowledge about their likes and talents. Through playing a musical instrument, the person can find out if he has the cut to be a player or not. If he or she finds out that they have the talent required to be an artist or player, they can easily and conveniently follow their dreams and wished. Otherwise, they will not spend time and waste their time or go the wrong direction in their lives. As an illustration, my little brother used to go the piano class to be a professional pianist in the future. However, after attending the classes, he was cognizant of his ability and found out that he is not talented enough to be a pianist. Thus, instead of spending time on the wrong direction and forcing himself to be a player, he changed the direction of his life and now he is an adept doctor. If he did not spend his leisure time attending piano classes, he might have changed the way of his life in detour way with no future.
In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned reasons and examples into consideration, I do believe that learning to play a musical instrument is effective for young children. Not only will they improve their state of the mind, but also they will find the right track of their lives and discover their real talents and skills.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 405, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... While some young people prefer to work part time in order to gain expertise, some others...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 553, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...bsequently has a positive impact on the persons mentality. An example will drive this n...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 909, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to play'.
Suggestion: to play
...ad adversely affected my life, I learnt playing the guitar. After three months or so of...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 230, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to play'.
Suggestion: to play
...e of thought, if young generation learn playing an instrument, they can take advantage ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, so, thus, while, in conclusion, kind of, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2768.0 1977.66487455 140% => OK
No of words: 595.0 407.700716846 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.65210084034 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93888872473 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67428178511 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.443697478992 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 868.5 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 45.7139540563 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.347826087 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8695652174 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.82608695652 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235577349013 0.236089414692 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755674044529 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0536836788679 0.0737576698707 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1536933023 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0414863136495 0.0645574589148 64% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.