TPO 15 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement In order to become financially responsible adults children should learn to manage their own money at a young age Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In this progressive and sophisticated world, one of the most important parts of being a parent is being aware of how to raise your children to be successful in their future life. Some people are inclined to teach their children how to manage their money in order to become financially responsible in the future. However, others are against this idea. As far as I am concerned, I am of the opinion that there is no need for young children to learn how to manage their own money. In the following paragraph, I will delve into some reasons and examples justifying my point of view.
The first noteworthy reason coming to my mind is that childhood is an important period for children to learn new skills, develop and flourish their latent talents in a wide range of fields such as music, art, literature, and formal education. During this time children are curious about thousand things which stimulate them to be involved in activities to develop their potentials. Learning to become financially responsible has various aspects which are extremely time-consuming processes. As a result, they are not able to devote their valuable time to other important issues in their life. Hence, by occupying their mind about money, parents ruin all of their giftedness. For instance, countless scientific findings have shown that children from families that are spending too much time discussing money generally have weak academic performances.
Another exquisite point to be mentioned is that this approach towards money makes children materialistic individuals which brings about adverse consequences in the future. Earning more money is not only joyful for adults but also for children. This way encourages them to try to save as much as money they can. Without any doubt, since they are not enough mature to realize whether their action is moral or immoral, as a consequence, this voracious for more money may motivate them to deceive their peers to earn money, or force their parents to give them money as an incentive for getting high grades at School. All these lead children to be money-oriented. Ultimately, this feature has grown inside them as they become grown-up. For instance, we can see many affluent people who do not care about the poverty and the financial problems of other people, if we evaluate their behavior we can easily find out this behavior stem from being money-oriented during their childhood.
To summarize, from what has been discussed above, it is crystal clear that tutoring children to manage their money at young age is not logical and proper. The first drawback of this attitude is it gives rise to wasting their precious time to develop their gifts and skills in useful areas. Besides, this way makes children money-oriented which has negative outcomes in the future.

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Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a thousand'.
Suggestion: a thousand
...ng this time children are curious about thousand things which stimulate them to be invol...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, may, so, for instance, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2333.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04978354978 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70181636315 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536796536797 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 727.2 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.0885291857 48.9658058833 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.095238095 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.28571428571 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23474359289 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0783996786451 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0549700055194 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162545724812 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423212270633 0.0645574589148 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 86.8835125448 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.