TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Without any doubt, Money is one of the most important factors in our life. The issue of whether children should learn to manage their own money at young ages or not aroused much controversy among people with different ages and different perspective. Definitely, some people if asked would agree with the statement that children should learn to manage their money at young ages while others have a negative attitude. As I am concerned, I completely agree with the first idea. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on arguments for supporting my view.
The first reason to be mentioned is that children would be more disciplined and responsible. When children were asked, expense a specific amount of money during every month they gradually learn they have to plan for their expenses, otherwise, they won’t have money for the rest of the month. It might take a long time but finally, they will learn. And this would be very useful for their future because they discover how to govern their money according to their income. For example, one of the big issue that family confront is that they have a lot of debt to bank, their friends, and relatives because they spend a lot of money while their salary is less than their costs. If they learn how to use money with a certain schedule at young ages they won’t these troubles.
In approaching this issue, apart from the point that I mentioned above, another reason that deserves some words is that with this way children appreciate their parents who are attempt to make a better life for them. And they realize that money is precious and they have to do hard work to gain it. If they have access to the money easily and parents provide them everything they want, they would think, they do not need to try in their life because their family supports them anyway. Therefore, they do not care about their parent's efforts. Because of this reason many of affluent people teach their children to handle the financial aspect of their life in spite of their family are wealthy to recognize the value of money and their family effort for achieving this money.
By the way of conclusion, base on arguments explored above I am of the opinion that the children should learn to manage their money because it helps them to be more discipline in their future life and also with this attitude they appreciate their parent’s hardworking more.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...s way children appreciate their parents who are attempt to make a better life for them....
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, anyway, but, finally, first, if, so, therefore, while, apart from, for example, by the way, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1983.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77831325301 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38160804968 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472289156627 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 616.5 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.0958914447 48.9658058833 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.647058824 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4117647059 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263944492912 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104438424791 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737619035529 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191987587917 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0791660198704 0.0645574589148 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.