tpo 35Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The issue of whether famous people need more privacy in their life compared with today aroused much controversy among people of different ages and different perspectives. Definitely, some people if were asked would agree with the statement that celebrities and sports figures deserve to have more privacy while others have a negative attitude toward this point of view. As far as I am concerned, I am in agreement with the former group. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on the arguments to support my view.
The first vital point to be mentioned is that ordinary people should admit this fact that the being sports man, actor, and actress is a career of some people like other people, therefore, they need to lead a usual life. Many people make an odd and unreal picture of the well-known individuals in their minds and they are keen to follow every section of celebrities’ lives. As a result, many of famous people always complain from sever vigilance by their followers and media which creates many troublesome situations for them. For example, last summer a paparazzi took a stealthy photo of dating one of the Iranian actors with foreign actress and spread it through social media. This actor was furious from this action and complained to the court which lead to a long judicial process. Consequently, by interfering in the celebrity’s life we bother them and prevent them to live a happy life.
In approaching this issue, apart from the reason given above, another reason that deserves some words is that famous people have family who has not a tendency to see in public, however, we see people are curious about everything in the famous individual's lives. I would like to talk about my own experience to illustrate this. Last month, I had a flight from Tehran to my hometown, I was so astonished of how people encircled Leila Hatami who is nationally and internationally famous actress and they wanted to take signature and photo while her son was scared of the crowd and was crying and screaming. Thus, families of famous people would annoy by this inconsiderate behavior.
By the way of conclusion, I am of the opinion, people respect famous people privacy, as they have a career like them although they are more seen. Moreover, sometimes much vigilances in their life create many difficulties for their families who do not tend to be under watch.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 556, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a paparazzo' or simply 'paparazzi'?
Suggestion: a paparazzo; paparazzi
...ions for them. For example, last summer a paparazzi took a stealthy photo of dating one of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 166, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...they are more seen. Moreover, sometimes much vigilances in their life create many di...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, while, apart from, for example, as a result, by the way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1983.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 404.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90841584158 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71662108953 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544554455446 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 627.3 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.3876651546 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.9375 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.25 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.875 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160437308743 0.236089414692 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0539982081473 0.076458572812 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0603651954525 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11298274053 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0629322214956 0.0645574589148 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.