TPO-37- Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and example.
Success is a concept that is the ultimate goal of any individual and can be achieved by accomplishing all things with high quality. Some people believe that because they are really busy doing many things, they can not handle all of them very exactly. Personally, I agree with this group. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, doing various things with each other can disturb people's concentration, so they can not do all of them precisely. To explain more, while someone accomplishes different works simultaneously, he has to concentrate on all aspects in parallel to achieve success in them. In other words, he must give all his attempts to what he does in order to manage everything appropriately in exact time and place. Since, in today's busy world, it is somehow impossible for people -who have many different works to do together- to concentrate on different aspects similarly, few of the works can be done with high quality. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Ten years ago, when I was a student, I decided to work to afford my university expenses. Therefore, I started a part-time job in a shopping center as a cashier. On the other hand, I had to do all the chores by myself because I lived in the dormitory. It was difficult for me to do all of them very well. When I was in class, I was thinking about my job and in contrast, when I was at work, I was concern about my lessons. As a result, after some months I had a fault in my job and I lost it. If I had concentrated more on my job, I would not have lost it.
Secondly, people who do many things with each other, suffer from lack of time, so they can not do all of them excellently. To be more specific, in this sophisticated and harsh world, time is the most valuable thing that everyone has. Being busy by doing multiple tasks together, may waste people's time, and they can not allocate sufficient time for each of them. As a result, they can not implement the works exactly and powerful. For instance, in my last example, I had not adequate time to study my lessons and do my class projects. Hence, I appeared weak in the university and did not mark as a good student. If I had allocated enough time to my study, I would have passed it as a qualified student.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that while people do various jobs with each other, they can not do all of them precisely. This is because they not only can not concentrate on each of them separately but also do not allocate adequate time to them to achieve prosperity.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 472, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...somehow impossible for people -who have many different works to do together- to concentrate on...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 847, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...cashier. On the other hand, I had to do all of the chores by myself because I lived in the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, really, second, secondly, similarly, so, therefore, well, while, as to, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, in other words, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 470.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.45957446809 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67302132537 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455319148936 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 671.4 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.0383584949 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.84 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.45110844103 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125635284381 0.236089414692 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0438828446042 0.076458572812 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0446696709068 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0946106628723 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00964457680892 0.0645574589148 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.15 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.