TPO 40 Independent
-Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is a highly debated issue whether parents should offer their children money for getting high grades, which can be approached with several angles due to its complexity. Deeply deliberating over this issue, although some people tend to think that actions like this may have some concerns, it is my firm belief that this is a great idea. The following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning.
First of all, extra money gives extra motivation to children. While parents wish their children to have good grades in school, it is usually hard for parents to mandate children to study, since children often avoid work that needs concentration and want to play all the time. By offering allowance to children when they perform well, they will have more intention to conquer their laziness and thus achieve the wishes of parents. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Since high school courses took from day to night, I often felt tired and did not want to study after class. My parents are worried about the decline of my grades, but they did not know how to make preparing tests more interesting. My mom noticed that I was drawn to a beautiful dress of a famous brand, so she gave me an exciting proposal about buying that dress if I did great on the next exam. As a result of my desire, I worked harder than ever and obtained that dress. As my mom found that this is an effective way to motivate me, that is, giving me some advantage while doing great, she established a system, offering me money to buy one thing that I wanted whenever I got a good grade at an exam. By doing so, I learned well during high school and got into a good college, eventually.
Besides, giving children money allows them to learn how to use money properly at an early age. In modern society, people often find themself hard to save enough money to pursue a house or a car, even harder to get married since they do not have enough money for the wedding and for raising a baby. By giving money to children when they are still young, they will have the opportunity to learn how to keep and use money they earn, therefore having a better financial plan in the future. For instance, the first few times I gain money from high scores of exams, I cannot wait to spend them on what I want such as clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. However, I discovered that the happiness of buying luxuries quickly faded away, the only thing that remained was the pressure given by my empty wallet and my empty stomach. After this, I learned the importance of saving money. By taking plans on what to purchase and determining what is necessary and what is not, I have extra money for emergencies, more importantly, the feeling of safety. That is, I do not need to worry about not having money for the essential. This habit allows me to save money from allowances during high school and from salaries of part-time jobs during college. Accordingly, I paid the tuition of college on my own every semester.
To sum up, with the reasons mentioned above, I am convinced that parents should offer their children money for high grades they get in school.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1208, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to well'
Suggestion: to well
...rade at an exam. By doing so, I learned well during high school and got into a good ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, besides, but, first, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, such as, as a result, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2562.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 558.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.59139784946 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86024933743 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3838790243 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 212.727598566 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514336917563 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 794.7 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8376546253 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.75 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328575234895 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0912145184262 0.076458572812 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0763353011096 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240179173952 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.058844304036 0.0645574589148 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 86.8835125448 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.