tpo 40 Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Getting good grades is important because those high marks show that you have accomplished your duty successful. Some may say that parents should celebrate their children's achievements by giving them monetary gifts. Others argue that this is not a good practice. In my opinion, parents should feel proud about their children, but they should try not prize them with money.
First of all, giving money to children that get a higher score in school would not let them distinguish the importance of why they should work hard to get good grades. Moreover, their tendency to do better in school will be because they know that their parents will give them money after each high score they receive. To illustrate, my cousin Tomas gave to his son a certain amount of money after each high grade he got. In fact, his son, who now knew how his father will behave, it made sense that he would have tried very hard to get good scores. It turned out that his son was doing well in school because he wanted to get money from his father, so that he could buy whatever he wanted. He could not distinguish why it was important to get good marks. If Tomas had never practice this manner, his son might have understood better the reason of doing well in school.
Secondly, generally speaking, not all parents could economically afford to give their kids money after each high score. For instance, around three decades ago, when I was still a child, I had a friend, who had a family who had low incomes. However, my friend was a bright kid. She used to get always high marks. Her family did not give her anything in exchange to those good grades. They were proud parents, and loved her unconditionally. Even though they tried to fulfill all her needs, that does not mean that they should have given her money on top of that. Overall this situation tells us that many parents cannot economically afford to give their bright kids money, after each of good marks they get in school. Loving them and taking care of them is one of the most valuable things.
In conclusion, parents should not give their children money after each good grade they get. This is because they will not be able to distinguish the importance of studying hard and get high scores. And because not all parents could economically afford to spent money that way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 122, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'saith', 'says'.
Suggestion: saith; says
...mplished your duty successful. Some may say that parents should celebrate their chi...
^^^
Line 3, column 775, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'practiced'.
Suggestion: practiced
...t to get good marks. If Tomas had never practice this manner, his son might have underst...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, well, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, first of all, in my opinion, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1907.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 411.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6399026764 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.2752839428 2.67179642975 85% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.476885644769 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 557.1 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.5254138938 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.9130434783 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8695652174 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.78260869565 5.45110844103 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.55 8.01818996416 82% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.