Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other
dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your
answer.

The causes of attraction to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities of some people are a very controversial discussion. If I were forced to give my opinion on this topic , I would raise my voice for that people always want to learn new things and people want personal freedom. This is my firm belief that people want freedom in their work and want to know new things due to several reasons. I will develop this idea in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin with, one of the reasons for my personal thought is that people want to learn and take experience from new activities and sports. Because these give them a new ecstasy about the new things. Though sometimes these new learning subject can be end by the failure, but people take it as a risk. I have to admit my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my personal experienced. You see , when I think of risk I immediately think of stand up comedy class that I took few years ago. I have always admired comedian. But I never was brave enough to take the stage and tried my self. For my birth day my wife paid for me to take a stand up comedy class. I was very nervous. For the first time of my of life I took the stage but I could hardly say a word. So, I wanted to quit but my wife told me I would regret later. I went back and tried again but I was not still funny enough. But I lasted couple of minutes longer. By the end of the comedy class, I gave thirty minutes stand-up routine to a packed comedy club. Put on the stage in front of the audience was a very challenging and dangerous for me but I do it as a lover of new activities.

Secondly, why I illustrate my specific thought is that people want personal freedom in their life. The new dangerous things and dangerous activities gives people personal freedom and give them the ability to take any decision in any dangerous situation. My personal example is a compelling illustration of this. I had bone marrow problem when I read in junior high school, so it was very risky for me to play football. But I wanted to try. After three month of football practice, I ended up hating football. All the kids picked on me due to my size and I was not very good at catching and tracking. Even though I was not very successful in the football team but I was and still am very great full for my experience. In that new experience, I would learn how to take decision freely. I also learn from this experience that what is my aim in life and how can I take any type of free decision in any new situation.

To sum up, in light of the above reasons I strongly believe that people chose dangerous activities and sports to learn new things and to find personal freedom.

Votes

Essay Categories

Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... forced to give my opinion on this topic I would raise my voice for that people a...
^^
Line 1, column 281, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... things and people want personal freedom This is my firm belief that people want ...
^^
Line 3, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...xperience from new activities and sports Because these give them a new ecstasy ab...
^^
Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the failure but people take it as a risk I have to admit my opinion on this matte...
^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...enced by my personal experienced You see when I think of risk I immediately think...
^^
Line 3, column 498, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...p comedy class that I took few years ago I have always admired comedian But I ne...
^^
Line 3, column 530, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ears ago I have always admired comedian But I never was brave enough to take th...
^^
Line 3, column 538, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'never' is usually put after the verb 'was'.
Suggestion: was never
... I have always admired comedian But I never was brave enough to take the stage and tri...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 547, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...always admired comedian But I never was brave enough to take the stage and tried...
^^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ough to take the stage and tried my self For my birth day my wife paid for me to ...
^^
Line 3, column 686, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stand up comedy class I was very nervous For the first time of my of life I took ...
^^
Line 5, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ple is a compelling illustration of this I had bone marrow problem when I read in...
^^
Line 5, column 447, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'months'.
Suggestion: months
...ootball But I wanted to try After three month of football practice I ended up hating ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 706, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ill am very great full for my experience In that new experience I would learn how...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, still, i think, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2149.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 507.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23865877712 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37857719639 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.412228796844 0.524837075471 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 695.7 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.6003584229 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 507.0 20.1344086022 2518% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 48.9658058833 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 2149.0 100.406767564 2140% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 507.0 20.6045352989 2461% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 84.0 5.45110844103 1541% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 11.8709677419 8% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172113609562 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.172113609562 0.076458572812 225% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140013738157 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497335698657 0.0645574589148 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 252.0 11.7677419355 2141% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -426.21 58.1214874552 -733% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.10430107527 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 198.7 10.1575268817 1956% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 8.79 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 30.78 8.01818996416 384% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 53.0 10.002688172 530% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 204.8 10.0537634409 2037% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 10.247311828 303% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.