You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either apiece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Considering the needs, priorities and preferences, people spend money either for their entertainment or purchase new commodities. If I was given a decent amount of money, personally i would choose to buy jewellery over buying tickets to a concert for the following reasons.
First, while concert is a one time event; jewellery adds on to the life long assets which can be utilised during emergency situation. This is because it can be sold for money or exchanged for another items. My grandparents experience demonstrates a good example for this. My grandma had a lot of kind in the form of expensive gold necklines and bracelets, diamond rings and necklace, silver dishes and so on. On the other hand, my grandfather had no cash to start on his new farm business. On weighing the assets, the family was able to arrange money required to commence the agriculture on land by selling half of my grandmother’s jewellery. Later, his farm thrived and until today it has generated produce worth more than a trillion. Also, he is known as one of the renowned billionaires of my home town. Have they not had the precious stones and elements, it would have been a real challenge for my family to get the required amount of cash for his business.
Moreover, although visiting a concert can create happy memories for some people, but others find the environment as full of crowd and loud uncomfortable noise which can cause suffocation and palpitation. I confronted same situation while attending a live concert of the famous vocalist “Arijeet Singh” in Pune. Being the listeners’ favourite, thousand of audience came to witness his performance. While the show was a hit, but the place was very crowded and people were touching and pushing each other to get closer to the front which made me feel more unpleasant about the surrounding. However, now I prefer to sit back home and enjoy watching similar show on television with the family.
In conclusion, purchasing jewellery is more beneficial than buying tickets for concert because it can be converted into cash and used for other necessities during needs; and avoid awkward and uncomfortable experiences which can occur while attending live shows in person.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 183, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...en a decent amount of money, personally i would choose to buy jewellery over buyi...
^
Line 9, column 359, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a thousand'.
Suggestion: a thousand
...e. Being the listeners' favourite, thousand of audience came to witness his perform...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, well, while, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 43.0788530466 56% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1870.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08152173913 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97305832294 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.595108695652 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 584.1 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1955978094 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.0 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6470588235 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.29411764706 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113251597431 0.236089414692 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0351050806435 0.076458572812 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464364055843 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0889726006835 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0535533033037 0.0645574589148 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.