You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy?
If I receive money to buy jewelry or buy ticket for concert, I will choose ticket definitely. This essay will support this idea by presenting some reasons and personal experience in following paragraphs.
First of all, buying ticket to go your favorite singer’s concert can be more memorable than buying piece of jewelry. Because you can visit your favorite singer and take photo with him, so when you see that photo, always you will remember that moments and feel better. In addition, you will support your singer and give him or her incentive to work better and publish songs with higher quality. On the other hand you will get more energy by participating in concert, so it is mutual benefit. Desire which is obtain by buying piece of jewelry will permanent for short time, in contrast buying ticket and go to concert is more memorable than that.
Furthermore, people will meet others in concert who love the same singer and they will find more points in common. One of the most significant merit of concert is meeting people and finding nice friends. Since everyone who participate there is fan of singer, so it shows that they have same interest and precipitation about music and lyric. As music has dominant role in our life, the friendship which stems from this can be more stable and close. For instance, two years ago, I went to my favorite singer’s concert. I visited a girl there who was so pretty and kind. We had interesting time there together, so I asked her to visit each other later either. We met several times after that night and finally we decided to get married. Because we found a lot of points in common.
In conclusion, if I want to choose between buying jewelry and buying concert thicket, I will buy ticket. In my point of view, going to concert has more advantages than buying piece of jewelry.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 76, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to ticket'
Suggestion: to ticket
...r buy ticket for concert, I will choose ticket definitely. This essay will support thi...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 513, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'obtained'.
Suggestion: obtained
...o it is mutual benefit. Desire which is obtain by buying piece of jewelry will permane...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 739, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and finally we decided to get married. Because we found a lot of points in common. In...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, if, so, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1517.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 321.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72585669782 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48439974988 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548286604361 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 474.3 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.4089933335 48.9658058833 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.2777777778 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8333333333 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.83333333333 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298285277144 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0886436379807 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0961224530657 0.0737576698707 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193035700158 0.150856017488 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0968187921486 0.0645574589148 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.