"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
The vice president of a manufacturing company states in his memo that , last year the number of job accidents occurred in the own company are 30% greater than the Panoply industries. Experts assumed that the sleep hours are effecting the work of the employees. However, as more light is shed on the issue and as more detailed facts are concerned, the lack of answers through arguments leads me to question its validity.
First of all, does the safety measures in the newly opened factory are good enough compared to the Panopoly Industries. There might be a possibility that the precautionary measures and safety tips are well used and implemented in Panopoly. Maybe the workers working in the Panopoly knows the each and every corner of their work place rather than employees working in the newly opened industry which leads to risk of doing a work. If the above scenarios are merit, then the argument is weakened.
Secondly, does sleep cycle really effect the work load? In other words, does the difference of 1 hour in sleep effects the performance of work? There is a possibility that workers who slept for more hours in Panopoly have experienced job accident. If the above mentioned assumption is true, then the argument does not hold water.
Finally, does employees from newly opened factory sleep less hours compared to the Panopoly? Just because the shift timings are different, that doesn’t mean the sleeping hours will be different. Perhaps, the people from Panopoly don’t sleep straight after work. Possible chances are they might even sleep late. The argument doesn’t hold strength if the above mentioned scenarios are true.
In conclusion, the argument, as stands as of now, is flawed,. However, if the experts are able to provide enough evidence and offer answers to the above mentioned questions, the argument can be possibly evaluated.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1501 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.842 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.478 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.349 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 70, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...acturing company states in his memo that , last year the number of job accidents o...
^^
Line 13, column 58, Rule ID: LESS_DOLLARSMINUTESHOURS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer hours'?
Suggestion: fewer hours
...ployees from newly opened factory sleep less hours compared to the Panopoly? Just because ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 58, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun hours is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ployees from newly opened factory sleep less hours compared to the Panopoly? Just be...
^^^^
Line 17, column 61, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , .
...argument, as stands as of now, is flawed,. However, if the experts are able to pro...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, then, well, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1583.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 307.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15635179153 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63977411994 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.534201954397 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 483.3 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.565543957 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.9444444444 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0555555556 23.324526521 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38888888889 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136435282709 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0385273826278 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0453893836419 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0744473266121 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0524044986875 0.0628817314937 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.35 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.