Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The most important ways to improve the people’s health is to clean the environment.
With the development of technology and industry, the world has changed significantly. This development led to people’ lives more convenient, but on the other hand, it led to many environmental problems which are gradually affecting people’s health. When it comes to a point whether the most significant way to ameliorate people’s health is to clean the environment, individuals’ opinions differ from person to person. While some claim that our health is improved only by the amelioration of environmental conditions, I , on the contrary, contend that the lightened pollution on the environment does not make definite influences onto people’s health conditions unless they had focus more on their daily lives.
To commence with, one of the most compelling reasons in advocacy of the thesis is that people is damaging their health due to lack of exercises. While the prevailing of technological devices favored due to the replacement of human beings’ activities they offer, it also robbed chances for people to get their bodies moved. In other words, they made people’s lives more sedentary. For instance, robots cleaning the floor is allowing individuals to abandon the troublesome and calorie-burning floor cleaning chores; remote-working allows individuals to avoid taking long distance travels to attend meetings or making presentations; all transportation means help people to not using much energy to arrive to a far place. As a result, individuals are spending much less time moving their bodies. In Japan, the average time people spend sitting on chairs in about eight hours a day, creating many diseases such as stiff necks, obesity and so on. This is a significant problem that is contributed directly to people’s lives.
What is more, the ruined diet is also playing an important role in the deteriorated health. Compared to the past, individuals are gaining more chances to get a variety of food, resulting in the pursuit of price and taste instead of nutrition for food. Junk food is favored dues to its convenience, low prices and delicious taste. However, these food leads to a tremendous disaster to our bodies. Take my nephew Hachi as an example, He loves junk food very much that he always rush to burger shops or ice-cream shops immediately when going outside. With the too much intake of sugar and salt, he therefore became obesity and nearly got diabetes. However, when he started to study about nutrients and commenced with a balanced diet, his body gradually shifted to a fitter level. This implies that people can change their health condition in a direct way when they take care of the diet.
Admittedly, pollutions are inevitable and is creating an enormous problem germane to people’s health. Air pollution, water pollution and so on is equally making damages to people’s health and also making the environment unsustainable. But actually these problems had to be solved in a long run by everyone’s efforts, which in turn do not necessarily change people’s health conditions immediately. What people should take serious more is onto their daily lifestyles.
In conclusion, although it is undeniable that environment deteriorations is a serious factor regarding to the bad condition of individuals’ health, many other aspects that are able for individuals to pay attention and face sincerely in their daily lives have more important role on the issue.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 520, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lioration of environmental conditions, I , on the contrary, contend that the light...
^^
Line 4, column 837, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a direct way" with adverb for "direct"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...eople can change their health condition in a direct way when they take care of the diet. Ad...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, regarding, so, therefore, while, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in other words, on the contrary, what is more, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 52.1666666667 146% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 8.0752688172 248% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2868.0 1977.66487455 145% => OK
No of words: 543.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2817679558 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02167191956 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 291.0 212.727598566 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53591160221 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 884.7 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.5067551695 48.9658058833 150% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.5 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.625 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.58333333333 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227410036063 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0626645807902 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0487209906439 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130617438039 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0540542036519 0.0645574589148 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.94 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 145.0 86.8835125448 167% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 10.002688172 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.