TPO 27 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying Use specific reasons and ex

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TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex

All of us are preparing to get a job from childhood; we were attending schools and learning many skills in order to have a better job. There is an argument that if there is a chance to choose between a secure position or a satisfying job. Lots of people may prefer a secured job than the other option, but I personally prefer to have a satisfying job rather than a safe career. There are many reasons to choose this, which two of them that have great importance is elaborated hereunder.
Firstly, a career that fulfills all of your needs and relates to your skills, over time, helps you become successful, and you can have a higher salary after awhile. In a job that you like, you become creative and eager about the process of doing every responsibility. Even though there can be a misfortunate moment that you lose your job, but you have more experience in the field that you like, so in the future, you can have more chances to find more secure positions in that field. Having a secure job only fills your need to have a job that earns you money but, in the future, with that kind of job, you hate life and do your tasks with hate sense, and there will not be a chance to improve your position.
Moreover, we spend so much time at work, and it is a big part of our life. If we have a job that does not fit our needs and skills, we become a person that will have a lot of problems in the other part of life, such as arguing with our family, friends, and neighbors. In contrast, in a satisfying job, we are calm and quickly can solve the problems and do our tasks. As a result, we will have a happier lifestyle, and we can concentrate on our family and growing in other fields. For instance, after marriage, my father went to the first opportunity that he found and worked hard to prepare his family's needs. He was happy that it is a good company and he can work there for many years. However, after a few years, he turned to a mad man and fought with my mother every day because of his destructive behaviors at work, he fired, so he began to search for a new job. When he was at home and did not go to work, he understood that their fight was because of the bad position at work. So, this time he searched for a better job that was fit for him, and after many searches, he found a job he wanted with a lower salary, and with a lot of experiences and many time of changing the companies he worked, now, hi is a co-founder of his company.
To sum up, if I had a chance to choose between a secure job and a satisfying job, I would prefer to have a job that fills my needs and perfect for me. A satisfying job makes you a successful person in the future, and you can live better and happier.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 158, Rule ID: FOR_AWHILE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a while'?
Suggestion: a while
... and you can have a higher salary after awhile. In a job that you like, you become cre...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1153, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'many times'.
Suggestion: many times
...lary, and with a lot of experiences and many time of changing the companies he worked, no...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, so, while, for instance, in contrast, kind of, such as, as a result, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2172.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 521.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.1689059501 4.8611393121 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35076417922 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441458733205 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 697.5 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.561391334 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.315789474 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.4210526316 20.6045352989 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68421052632 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.27997851495 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0997430521529 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0725721966592 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204419706662 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0610990804985 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.45 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.2 10.9000537634 66% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.