Argument Topic :“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
The argument that reduction in operating cost will lead to increase in profits of the video rental stores seems to be weaker due to it's ill supportation by the evidences and listed premises. As the author suggests that by closing the store early in the evening at 6:00 pm rather than 9:00 pm will help to reduce the cost, but what happened consequently that it reduced the stock of last five years of movies. There could be numerous other factors that could be responsible for the decreased profits in spite of concentrating only on the operating cost.
Firstly, Since the author incorrectly assumes that decreased revenue is only due to operating cost and fails to consider other important factors. For example in due course of time the stores could have lost their power to allure customers. Since the customer satisfaction play a vital role in determining the cost benefit ratio of the any organization, it's attachment with the consumer market is thus noticeable.
Another reason that undermines the argument is ignoring the 'quality' as one of the most important factor. Even a minute deterioration in the store's product will lead to reduced demand for the various products from the store. Due to decrease in attending customers at the store have a negative impact on the store's profit.
Although, rental store are famous for providing great quality products at marginal prices, thus it is obvious for the store to have an appropriate price for the products. Therefore cutting cost will not help to a good extant.
At last it can be concluded that the argument can be rendered weak due to ignoring factors like quality of products, considering only operating cost playing major role in profit of the rental stores. However, the argument can be bolstered by considering all factors related to store's economy, improving quality without disturbing the prices so much and also author's assumption to recommend same charges for all nine stores will help to corroborate the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 331 350
No. of Characters: 1629 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.265 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.921 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.443 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 141, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...tor. Even a minute deterioration in the stores product will lead to reduced demand for...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 171, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... an appropriate price for the products. Therefore cutting cost will not help to a good ex...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 278, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'store'.
Suggestion: store
...d by considering all factors related to stores economy, improving quality without dist...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, so, therefore, thus, for example, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1666.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 329.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06382978723 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69356824868 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.531914893617 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 523.8 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.6630820044 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.153846154 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3076923077 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.30769230769 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194868561513 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0739130572757 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0491889684998 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11909235937 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0339361665985 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.2 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.