During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest.
The writer concluded that panoply's workers faced less injuries than newly opened factory due to shorten working hour of workers. These two companies also produced same kind of products. As the workers of newly opened factory works longer period of time, they are incurring more accidents in the job place. The writer's comment is not complete because there are several other factors which may attribute to fewer accidents in Panoply. That's why I am not fully convinced with the comments of the writer. In the following few paragraphs, I will elaborate my opinions regarding the above comments.
Firstly, the author did not considered other factors which might contributed into the less number of injuries in Panoply. There might be significant difference in the quality of machinery and working environment between the Panoply and newly built factory. Panoply might use quality machinery in their factory which is safer for the workers and it might be one reason of less number of accidents of workers. The working environment of Panoply might be another factor for less number of injuries by it's workers. On the other hand, the newly opened factory's working environment might not be conducive for the workers, the quality of machinery also might not safe for the workers. All these factors might be responsible for higher number of injuries by it's workers.
Secondly, the Panoply might not reported all the injuries faced by it's workers. If the country where the two factories are situated has strict rules, regulations and also the compensation amount is very big then Panoply might not reported all the injuries. Therefore, without complete information it is not wise to conclude that only the difference in working hours solely responsible for less number of injuries in Panoply. It might happen that the workers of newly opened factory faced fewer restrictions than the workers of Panoply for reporting the injuries.
Thirdly, the recruitment process and wage rate of workers of two factories are also other factors for the discrepancy in number of injuries faced by the workers. Panoply might hired healthy and skillful workers for their factories with high wage rate and it resulted into the decrease number of injuries at work place. On the other hand, the newly opened factory might choose the cost effective way and recruited low skilled workers with less amount of salary and that's why their workers are facing more injuries in the work place. The difference in skills of workers also another factor responsible for incurring injuries in the work place.
Finally, we cannot conclude only the working hours is responsible for injuries faced by workers in the work place. There are several other factors like working environment, quality of machinery used in the production process, wage rate, recruitment criteria etc. all together are responsible for injuries faced by workers in working place. Therefore, without considering all other factors to come to a conclusion is not desirable at all.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 487 350
No. of Characters: 2482 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.698 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.097 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.831 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.392 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.186 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun injuries is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...r concluded that panoplys workers faced less injuries than newly opened factory due ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 239, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...rs of newly opened factory works longer period of time, they are incurring more accidents in t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 434, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...ttribute to fewer accidents in Panoply. Thats why I am not fully convinced with the c...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 29, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'consider'
Suggestion: consider
... comments. Firstly, the author did not considered other factors which might contributed i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 465, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... workers with less amount of salary and thats why their workers are facing more injur...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 643, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r incurring injuries in the work place. Finally, we cannot conclude only the wor...
^^^^
Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o a conclusion is not desirable at all.
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, kind of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2520.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 487.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17453798768 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58761283201 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.377823408624 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 805.5 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.8654186634 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.0 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2916666667 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.70833333333 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230760315207 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0864086338748 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0671462390689 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156183470093 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0409787862594 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.29 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.