The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals."In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of UltraClean at our hospital in Work by, that hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout our hospital system."
Maintaining hygienic environment should be top on the to-do list of any hospital. There should not be any kind of dirty places and untidy practices that would spread bacteria. As proposed by the author we should use good quality of UltraClean handwash to prevent the spread of infections. But while stating so the author has not considered all the statistics and conditions that might lead to spread of infections.
Firstly, the prevention of the spread of infection does not depend only on which kind of hand wash is used but it is also dependent on other things. Maintaining a hygienic environment, regular cleaning of the area, proper use of dustbin at prim positions, etc. are also the factors on which the spread of infections depends.
Secondly, the way patients are segregated in the hospital also should be taken into consideration. Mostly, the general ward in a hospital is the place where there is a chance of spread of infections as the people are placed close to each other and there is more chance of spread of bacterias. The places where the rooms are away from each other would have less of such issues. Moreover, using same clothes, types of equipment, amenities without proper maintenance would lead to spread of infections.
The author stated the use of concentrated UltraClean hand wash. But there might be a case where this much concentration would be harmful to the patients and some might be allergic to the same. So, different provisions should be made to different patients depending on their preferences.
The author has not considered other available hash wash on the market. There are many other hand wash which is preferred by other hospitals and has proven to be effective. Comparatively, these other hand wash would cost less and would provide an upper hand for the hospitals in case of financial management. Moreover, they can use this profit in other amenities that would provide more hygienic environment.
Thus, the author must look into all the circumstances and where the hospital is located in order to make such conclusions. Also, he should consider other competitor products which might have proven to be more effective. Therefore, the infections can be prevented by not just changing the hand wash but also so other amenities/ facilities that would be effective in the same direction.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point. Here goes a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1897 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.902 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.065 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 177, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y practices that would spread bacteria. As proposed by the author we should use go...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1955.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 387.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05167958656 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78793527746 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.457364341085 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 600.3 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9502873489 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.0952380952 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4285714286 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7619047619 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0400251458391 0.218282227539 18% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0165220772071 0.0743258471296 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0280504583263 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0224745448206 0.128457276422 17% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0163506331203 0.0628817314937 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.