The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director assumes that there is an impending need for buckingham college to build new dormitories to allievate increasing need. The director's arugment based on serval assumption that the student's enrollment would follow the current trend to grow, the average rent for an apartment has been a burden for students, and attractive new dormitories would become an factor of students to choose buckingham. even the above points sounds reasonable at first glance, we should critically consider all aspects of these points to avoid hasty conclusion.
To begin with, the director asserted that buckingham's growing enrollment would continue to grow and that the number of enrollment would eventually double 50 years later. there is some true that the current promosing enrollment require college to provide more housing to students. however, the director ignored an alternative possibility that current growing enrollment is only temporary phenomen. if this is the case, the director cannot make a solid conclusion based on current trend. In order to fully analyze the enrollment trend, the director need to demonstrate current increasing trend is continuable, otherwise, the director's conclusion would be tenuous.
Secondly, the director also cited the fact that the average rent has risen in recent years and the rising cost has brought difficulties for students to affor off-campus housing. indeed, the risen average rent is indisputable fact. Nevertheless, the director did not rule out a possibility that there is some new built luxiory apartments near the campus and the expensive rent apartment increase the average rent cost while the majority of aprtments rent remain unchage or even decrease. Not until the director rule out this possibility, did the risen rent become the burdern for students. Besides, even most of the apartment rent has indeed risen, we also needs to know how much percent it has risen. if the rent only rised a little, then the risen rent would not put stress on student's living budget. To sum up, the director needs to rule there is not luxiury apartment to increase the average rent cost and provide definite details about how much the rent cost has risen to judge whether students can afford risen cost or not.
Finally, the director also claims that the attractive dormitories is an influencing factors for students to enroll at buckingham. indeed, the attractive dormitories can provide students with living convenience. however, there are several other factors which are much more important than living condition for students to determine which college is their optimal choice, such as academic achievement, career network and research funding. The director needs to explain why the dormintories would attract students to enroll at buckingham.
In conclusion, to fully evavulate whether the director makes a sound conclusion, the director needs to explain why the growing enrollment trend would continue, and the reason that the risen average rent has already beyond students' affordment, and why the attractive dormintories can attract students to enroll at buckingham.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The director assumes that there is an impending need for buckingham college to build new dormitories to allievate increasing need.
Error: allievate Suggestion: alleviate
Error: buckingham Suggestion: bucking
Sentence: The director's arugment based on serval assumption that the student's enrollment would follow the current trend to grow, the average rent for an apartment has been a burden for students, and attractive new dormitories would become an factor of students to choose buckingham. even the above points sounds reasonable at first glance, we should critically consider all aspects of these points to avoid hasty conclusion.
Error: serval Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: arugment Suggestion: argument
Error: buckingham Suggestion: bucking
Sentence: To begin with, the director asserted that buckingham's growing enrollment would continue to grow and that the number of enrollment would eventually double 50 years later. there is some true that the current promosing enrollment require college to provide more housing to students. however, the director ignored an alternative possibility that current growing enrollment is only temporary phenomen. if this is the case, the director cannot make a solid conclusion based on current trend.
Error: phenomen Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: promosing Suggestion: promising
Sentence: In order to fully analyze the enrollment trend, the director need to demonstrate current increasing trend is continuable, otherwise, the director's conclusion would be tenuous.
Error: continuable Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: tenuous Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Secondly, the director also cited the fact that the average rent has risen in recent years and the rising cost has brought difficulties for students to affor off-campus housing. indeed, the risen average rent is indisputable fact.
Error: off-campus Suggestion: off campus
Error: affor Suggestion: afford
Sentence: Nevertheless, the director did not rule out a possibility that there is some new built luxiory apartments near the campus and the expensive rent apartment increase the average rent cost while the majority of aprtments rent remain unchage or even decrease.
Error: unchage Suggestion: unchanged
Error: luxiory Suggestion: luxury
Error: aprtments Suggestion: apartments
Sentence: Not until the director rule out this possibility, did the risen rent become the burdern for students.
Error: burdern Suggestion: burden
Sentence: Besides, even most of the apartment rent has indeed risen, we also needs to know how much percent it has risen. if the rent only rised a little, then the risen rent would not put stress on student's living budget.
Error: rised Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To sum up, the director needs to rule there is not luxiury apartment to increase the average rent cost and provide definite details about how much the rent cost has risen to judge whether students can afford risen cost or not.
Error: luxiury Suggestion: luxury
Sentence: Finally, the director also claims that the attractive dormitories is an influencing factors for students to enroll at buckingham. indeed, the attractive dormitories can provide students with living convenience. however, there are several other factors which are much more important than living condition for students to determine which college is their optimal choice, such as academic achievement, career network and research funding.
Error: buckingham Suggestion: bucking
Sentence: The director needs to explain why the dormintories would attract students to enroll at buckingham.
Error: dormintories Suggestion: dormitories
Error: buckingham Suggestion: bucking
Sentence: In conclusion, to fully evavulate whether the director makes a sound conclusion, the director needs to explain why the growing enrollment trend would continue, and the reason that the risen average rent has already beyond students' affordment, and why the attractive dormintories can attract students to enroll at buckingham.
Error: dormintories Suggestion: dormitories
Error: buckingham Suggestion: bucking
Error: evavulate Suggestion: evaluate
Error: affordment Suggestion: No alternate word
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 190 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2570 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.288 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.68 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.558 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.491 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.731 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.299 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ent based on serval assumption that the students enrollment would follow the current tre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 361, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...attractive new dormitories would become an factor of students to choose buckingham...
^^
Line 1, column 405, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...actor of students to choose buckingham. even the above points sounds reasonable at f...
^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...would eventually double 50 years later. there is some true that the current promosing...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 281, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ge to provide more housing to students. however, the director ignored an alternative po...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 398, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... enrollment is only temporary phenomen. if this is the case, the director cannot m...
^^
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
...ng trend is continuable, otherwise, the directors conclusion would be tenuous. Secondl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 179, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Indeed
...r students to affor off-campus housing. indeed, the risen average rent is indisputable...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 657, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'need'
Suggestion: need
...partment rent has indeed risen, we also needs to know how much percent it has risen. ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... to know how much percent it has risen. if the rent only rised a little, then the ...
^^
Line 7, column 131, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Indeed
...s for students to enroll at buckingham. indeed, the attractive dormitories can provide...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 212, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ovide students with living convenience. however, there are several other factors which ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, finally, first, however, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, while, in conclusion, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2629.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40946502058 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75008063293 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446502057613 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 803.7 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.7419783438 57.8364921388 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.45 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25515854894 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0945552229294 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0805463004326 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175646589368 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0687368861062 0.0628817314937 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.