The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author contends that the university's enrollment is growing, so they need to expand their dormitories for prospective students. he gives some reasons for this issue. it seems reasonable, but there are critical flaws.
Firstly, he expects that Buckingham's enrollment will double over the next 50 years, so they need more dormitories for accommodating them. however, it is a just assumption based on current trends. trends is fluctuating easily and 50 years is too long time to prepare with just trends. it means that the enrollment may be lower than now. then, the university will take loss of budget. thus, the author should show specific trends reliable and evidences.
Secondly, the author says that the average rent for an apartment has risen in recent years, so the students has difficulties to afford off-campus housing. but we can't see this as an evidence for constructing new dormitories. Because the students will choose the house that they want to live in with their money. constructing new dormitories will need a lot of money. Besides, the cost of that makes new dormitories the high cost house. then, the students will not choose the new dormitories. they will find other options reasonable such as a share house.
Finally, he claims that the new dormitories will be attractive to prospective students. The students will not choose their universities with just dormitories. If they decide to go the university, and there are good dormitories, they will be happy. but they will choose their universities for their future. so, we need to know whether there are students who choose their university for good dormitories in the university.
To sum up, the author contends that they need to expand the university's dormitory for new prospective students with some reasons. The reasons, however, has critical flaws. thus, the author should give specific evidences what I suggest.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1539 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.013 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.76 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.1 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.457 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.74 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.27 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 133, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...r dormitories for prospective students. he gives some reasons for this issue. it s...
^^
Line 1, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
.... he gives some reasons for this issue. it seems reasonable, but there are critica...
^^
Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ore dormitories for accommodating them. however, it is a just assumption based on curre...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Trends
...ust assumption based on current trends. trends is fluctuating easily and 50 years is t...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 286, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... long time to prepare with just trends. it means that the enrollment may be lower ...
^^
Line 7, column 338, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...t the enrollment may be lower than now. then, the university will take loss of budge...
^^^^
Line 7, column 385, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...he university will take loss of budget. thus, the author should show specific trends...
^^^^
Line 13, column 157, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ficulties to afford off-campus housing. but we cant see this as an evidence for con...
^^^
Line 13, column 164, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...es to afford off-campus housing. but we cant see this as an evidence for constructin...
^^^^
Line 13, column 227, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...dence for constructing new dormitories. Because the students will choose the house that...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 314, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Constructing
... they want to live in with their money. constructing new dormitories will need a lot of mone...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 438, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...es new dormitories the high cost house. then, the students will not choose the new d...
^^^^
Line 13, column 494, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ts will not choose the new dormitories. they will find other options reasonable such...
^^^^
Line 19, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...e good dormitories, they will be happy. but they will choose their universities for...
^^^
Line 19, column 308, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...se their universities for their future. so, we need to know whether there are stud...
^^
Line 25, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...e reasons, however, has critical flaws. thus, the author should give specific evide...
^^^^
Line 25, column 197, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... critical flaws. thus, the author should give specific evidences what I suggest.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 55.5748502994 41% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1613.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 307.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25407166124 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83202605372 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.485342019544 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 469.8 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 12.0 22.8473053892 53% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.9830412962 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 67.2083333333 119.503703932 56% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 12.7916666667 23.324526521 55% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.54166666667 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122859655699 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0386809305983 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0340482091437 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0723028663993 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0197859520083 0.0628817314937 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.76 48.3550499002 140% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 12.197005988 56% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 12.28 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 98.500998004 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.8 11.1389221557 61% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.9071856287 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.