The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of
video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to
decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain
how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation
The Owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores argues that by reducing the operating expenses they could prevent the loses they are facing in there business. The evidence and supporting information given to implicate that the owners business stategy should be applied in all the 10 stores they own is full of loop holes and flowes.
Firstly, inorder to prevent loses the owner suggest to reduce the operating expenses. There is no proper explanation on what are the other choices he had to prevent the loses. The article directly jumps to a single conclusion without referring to other possible ways available to make more profit. The owner argues that people at there stores are very found of bargening and buying the product hence they cannot increase the rental prices. But the arresting point is did they do a proper survey. There might be some famous videos which are overrated and most of the other videos are not and only few people who want to buy those overated videos might indulge in to bargenning and rest wont mind. Owners claim here is very quixotic.
Secondly, Owner provides a supporting event that their store at downtown Marstone decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 pm rather than 9:00 pm. Making a conclusion due to the profit caused just in one days change is quite not right. There is a possibility that this trick might only work for this store. For example, It might so happen that more customer visit this store before 6 and this might not be true for other stores. There is a probable case where the strength of customers vary with time and place and hence the other stores may not gain the same amount of profit.
The owner also claims that eliminating all movies realised more than five years ago increased there profit. But applying this to other stores might not be a good idea. For example, this sttategy whould lead to a loss if the other stores are often visited by customers who are found of old songs. The people usually like to listen to music or videos of there generation rather than of new generations. Hence we do not know. The new movies might be the trending ones but eleminating all the 5 year old movies is a bad idea because there will definitely be some great movies released during that period and we cannot boycott them just because they are old.
Finally, I stongly believe that Owner must not decide to impose the same trick on all the stores. Inorder to have increased profits in all the stores owner must do some proper surve and study the customers in different stores and also make a not of type of movies most sold in those stores.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The evidence and supporting information given to implicate that the owners business stategy should be applied in all the 10 stores they own is full of loop holes and flowes.
Error: flowes Suggestion: flower
Error: stategy Suggestion: stately
Sentence: Firstly, inorder to prevent loses the owner suggest to reduce the operating expenses.
Error: inorder Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The owner argues that people at there stores are very found of bargening and buying the product hence they cannot increase the rental prices.
Error: bargening Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: There might be some famous videos which are overrated and most of the other videos are not and only few people who want to buy those overated videos might indulge in to bargenning and rest wont mind.
Error: bargenning Suggestion: bargaining
Error: overated Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For example, this sttategy whould lead to a loss if the other stores are often visited by customers who are found of old songs.
Error: sttategy Suggestion: strategy
Sentence: The new movies might be the trending ones but eleminating all the 5 year old movies is a bad idea because there will definitely be some great movies released during that period and we cannot boycott them just because they are old.
Error: eleminating Suggestion: eliminating
Sentence: Finally, I stongly believe that Owner must not decide to impose the same trick on all the stores.
Error: stongly Suggestion: strongly
Sentence: Inorder to have increased profits in all the stores owner must do some proper surve and study the customers in different stores and also make a not of type of movies most sold in those stores.
Error: surve Suggestion: No alternate word
----------------
argument 1 -- not exactly. maybe there is still a room to rise the price, for example, other businesses all rise the price; or still can make profit after rising the price;
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- argument 2 and 3 should put together:
Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago.
----------------
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2116 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.541 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.21 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.614 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...perating expenses they could prevent the loses they are facing in there business....
^^^
Line 2, column 125, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...en to implicate that the owners business stategy should be applied in all the 10 ...
^^^
Line 6, column 45, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggest reducing'.
Suggestion: suggest reducing
...tly, inorder to prevent loses the owner suggest to reduce the operating expenses. There is no pro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 117, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...expenses. There is no proper explanation on what are the other choices he had to ...
^^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to a single conclusion without referring to other possible ways available to make...
^^^
Line 8, column 127, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...there stores are very found of bargening and buying the product hence they cannot...
^^^
Line 9, column 97, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'done'.
Suggestion: done
...ntal prices. But the arresting point is did they do a proper survey. There might ...
^^^
Line 14, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...reased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 pm rather than 9:00 pm. Making a...
^^^
Line 15, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...days change is quite not right. There is a possibility that this trick might only...
^^^
Line 21, column 136, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., this sttategy whould lead to a loss if the other stores are often visited by cu...
^^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ation rather than of new generations. Hence we do not know. The new movies might be...
^^^^^
Line 23, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... 5 year old movies is a bad idea because there will definitely be some great movi...
^^^
Line 27, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ncreased profits in all the stores owner must do some proper surve and study the ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2202.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 464.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74568965517 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.24796363788 2.78398813304 81% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495689655172 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.0582024877 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.090909091 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0909090909 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.86363636364 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 21.0 5.15768463074 407% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138434261216 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0431063655464 0.0743258471296 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500639764417 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0473994587166 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0584987177829 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.