The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Health Naturally, a small but expanding chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
In this argument, the Vice president of Health Naturally urged to consider that opening a new store of their chain in Plainsville is profitable for the Business. To support his recommendation, he cited that Denizens of this town are more concerned towards their health and therefore can bring more profit to business but having their food and health products. I find this argument unconvincing and not cogent for some reasons.
First, the author states that the people living in Plainsville are highly concerned with their healthy lifestyle, therefore, opening the store in the town will be profitable. This claim cannot accept as it stands. It is equally possible to assume that the citizens walk a lot daily as the bus and train stations are on the out skirts of town. Also, it might be possible that it is a low-income area due to which they can not afford to buy car thus relying solely on foot and bicycles and all of this can be the reason for their fitness. Perhaps, people like to eat more organic rather buying food from stores which could be the reason for their good health. The author never mentioned the reasons of fitness for the Plainsville's citizen. Therefore, while the brief statement of selling the health products in the town seems to be a robust idea, it deficit between what stated and what is there to evident from it and is too large to be overlooked. This ultimately causes a week argument that will count against the authors conclusion.
Second, the Vice president hypothesized that revitalization of the old local health club is the indication for more members looking forward to health equipments and other health products. Here, the correlation does not prove the causation. It is possible to assume that the members of the health club are from the nearby town and prefer to come her just for exercise and gym, preferring to buy health products from their home town. The author did not mentioned the size of health club so it might be possible that the health size members are just a hand cup of people who enjoy having weight-training and aerobics classes, indicating that there is a lesser market for the upcoming health store in that area. Thus this assumption is unwarranted and over generalized and argument lacks the compelling and affluent reasoning to convince his Proposal.
Third, the author cited that future generating is getting ready, as the new customers, for the utilization of his stores due to the participation in the school program. It might make sense to educated students for having the healthy lifestyle however, the author fails to accomplish the fact that most school children do not take healthy eating and exercising seriously rather they are compelled to do it just because of their school. Therefore, this does not guarantee the future customers for the author's store. The careful perusing of the evidence provided in the argument reveals that many questions have been left unanswered without which the reader cannot consider it to be consequential.
In conclusion, this is a vague and ambiguous argument. To bolster it, the vice-president, must at very least, should offer the strong evidence of his claim of opening his line of the store, perhaps by the survey participating the denizens of Plainsville, to know the real amount of customers so that can benefit from the Health Naturally store.
Comments
This time I have taken your
This time I have taken your advice of counter-arguing 3 different author's argument. I'm facing problem in using " the" in the essay as whenever I submit it I get lots of red mark on "the" in essay.
Please rate the essay.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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also need to argue:
Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs.
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you may ignore red marks on "the" in essay. it is an alarm for duplicated words.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 565 350
No. of Characters: 2741 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.875 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.618 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.682 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.949 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.28 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1016, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ek argument that will count against the authors conclusion. Second, the Vice presid...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 452, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...rom their home town. The author did not mentioned the size of health club so it might be ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 709, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...the upcoming health store in that area. Thus this assumption is unwarranted and over...
^^^^
Line 7, column 644, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... have been left unanswered without which the reader cannot consider it to be cons...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, second, so, therefore, third, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 28.8173652695 187% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2801.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 565.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95752212389 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87542086881 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69682479361 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 204.123752495 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472566371681 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 847.8 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.3460034478 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.318181818 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6818181818 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.22727272727 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207707204844 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0614927790197 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751918664325 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130634662266 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0665198991578 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.