The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
As part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal, several pieces of evidence were outlined to support the theory of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. However, there are several holes in the argument including issues of validity within the first study cited. In the following essay, I will begin by refuting the claim then provide an alternative, namely, that it is not birth order that determines behavior in relation to stimulation, but rather an individual's level of experience.
Evidence provided by the letter writer does no sufficiently argue the claim because some is invalid and others irrelevant. The letter begins by citing a study performed on 18 rhesus monkeys but 18 is too small a sample size to make generalities and the study doesn't seem to differentiate between siblings beyond the first-born. Therefore, the this study does not examine birth order, but merely first born versus the remainder, and only for a small amount of very specific animals. This is not generalizable. While relevant, the second piece of evidence is merely stated as fact without grounds, and the last bit of evidence about first-time mothers is irrelevant. Therefore, none of the support statements seem to adequately explain the hypothesis.
However, there is another idea that reconciles the evidence to the theory: instead of birth-order, it is overall level of experience that matters. Individuals that are older are more likely to have more experiences relative to their younger counterparts and thus have more available information from which they can mine and more aptly prepare themselves in future similar events.
All three pieces of evidence from the letter can rely upon this logic. Firstly, the first-born, or older monkey, would have increased levels of cortisol because the monkey, based on experience, knows that the encounter with a strange monkey will require increased activity. A younger monkey, naive in its life experiences, would not necessarily yet know what a strange encounter would entail nor what action occurs as a consequence. The same line of reasoning explains why older siblings would produce relatively higher levels of cortisol in stimulating environments. Finally, while we again apply the age theory to the last evidence, we see the older individuals expressing lower levels of cortisol instead of higher. This reversal can be explained by talking to any mother or more than one child. The first pregnancy causes a new mother to worry and fret, and therefore induce cortisol, while a wisened mother by their second or third child is knows what to expect and is therefore more at ease after a first birth.
When examining the justification of any argument, we should always question the claims. We may find issues with the experiment design or flaws in the logic. In some cases, the evidence is a complete red-herring! We should also see if we can't find alternatives that eliminate such spurious arguments. In the case of birth order's effect on a levels stimulation, we find that the evidence was wanting and that a far simpler logic prevailed: a wisened person will better forecast and prepare for future events than their younger peers.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The first pregnancy causes a new mother to worry and fret, and therefore induce cortisol, while a wisened mother by their second or third child is knows what to expect and is therefore more at ease after a first birth.
Error: wisened Suggestion: widened
Sentence: In the case of birth order's effect on a levels stimulation, we find that the evidence was wanting and that a far simpler logic prevailed: a wisened person will better forecast and prepare for future events than their younger peers.
Error: wisened Suggestion: widened
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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sample arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 522 350
No. of Characters: 2620 1500
No. of Different Words: 269 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.78 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.019 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.696 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.242 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.27 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 260, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...size to make generalities and the study doesnt seem to differentiate between siblings ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: DT_DT[2]
Message: Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only 'the' or 'this' is left.
Suggestion: the; this
...lings beyond the first-born. Therefore, the this study does not examine birth order, but...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1019, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efore more at ease after a first birth. When examining the justification of any ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 238, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...e red-herring! We should also see if we cant find alternatives that eliminate such s...
^^^^
Line 9, column 341, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'levels'' or 'level's'?
Suggestion: levels'; level's
...In the case of birth orders effect on a levels stimulation, we find that the evidence ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 387, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... stimulation, we find that the evidence was wanting and that a far simpler logic prevailed:...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, while, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2688.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15930902111 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80983396405 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525911708253 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 866.7 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.8284903618 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.181818182 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6818181818 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.27272727273 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213571020283 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0576151153341 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751635872634 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124353243067 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105496246987 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 98.500998004 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.