The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prediction based on the recently issued twenty-year study may seem to hold grounds, but if deeper studies are undertaken to highlight the subtle issues that have been overlooked, the prediction might prove unwarranted.
The argument omits two crucial aspects of the study – time and authenticity. Although the study has been recently issued, the argument does not clearly define the time frame for the study: whether it was conducted recently or in the past. Moreover, the argument does not throw light on the researchers, or whether their work has been acknowledged or published by a recommended body overseeing such studies. The argument would have been cogent had it included the methods and instruments used for this specific study. Thus, predicting the decline of headaches for Mentia residents seem unreliable if the above factors are not included.
Correlation between the increase in use of salicylates and the reduction in number of headaches has been drawn based on two different aspects that are not logically connected. It might be true that commercial use of salicylates has increased in recent times, but its efficacy on the participants does not hold ground unless the figures of the changing consumption patterns of salicylates in the participants’ food are presented. Nevertheless, the argument omits the concerned age group of study and fails to throw light on the time span and intensity of headaches of the participants. Had similar findings, if carried out in other places, been included, the prediction would have been more cogent.
The argument fails to investigate the possible over use of salicylates and its side-effects, if any. It has often been observed that over consumption of a particular chemical lead to uncalled effects, the possibility of which has clearly been omitted here. The argument does not provide information about the quantity of salicylates permitted for human bodies. Moreover, if foods are naturally rich in salicylates, then why increase its use as chemical preservatives and additives?The advantages of salicylates over the long trusted aspirin, or the reasons for reduction in number of headaches due to development of a newer and more effective drug, has been omitted. The prediction would have been more reliable had it included the details mentioned and bolstered by doctors, researches and other approved bodies.
Thus, for the prediction of the twenty –year study to hold ground for the residents of Mentia, a deeper and more comprehensive analysis is necessary.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not really.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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also need to argue:
With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 2079 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.198 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.892 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.381 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 482, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...as chemical preservatives and additives?The advantages of salicylates over the long...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2147.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 400.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3675 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04359881555 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 670.5 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.6669293022 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.1875 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.625 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146866145794 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.051997450277 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0418628199311 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0839104893259 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0287998102997 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.3799401198 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.34 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 98.500998004 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.