The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The Board of Directors of Monarch Books has proposed a recommendation for opening a new cafe inside its store to attract more customers. The author has come to this conclusion based on the fact that their competitor Regal Books has recently opened a cafe. Quite convincing though such a statement appears at first glance, closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial evidence. Thus, before this recommendation can be accepted, the below questions need to be answered.
Firstly, why will opening a new cafe attract new customers? In other words, the author has presumably assumed that opening a new cafe will attract new customers. It is possible that a popular cafe is already present nearby and people already love its delicacies. In that case, opening a new cafe will not have any effect on the number of customers. Furthermore, it is possible that a new cafe can retract the existing customers as a change of environment is not palatable to them. For instance, there is a possibility that existing customers of Monarch Books like to read in a library-like environment and that's why they previously chose Monarch Books as compared to Regal Books. Also, it is mentioned that a wide selection of collections is an actual reason behind its popularity. Thus, the conclusion drawn here does not have any evidence or valid reasoning.
Secondly, why will discontinuing the children's section not have any impact on Monarch Books? In other words, the author has assumed that a decline in the percentage of the population under age ten will impact the popularity of the children's section. For instance, it is possible that the overall population of adults has grown significantly and because of this, the percentage of underage children has gone down. A decrease in percentage of population does not justify a decrease in the number of under ten age children. Moreover, it is clearly mentioned that the Monarch store's children section is already popular. Hence, it is possible that most of the customers of Monarch are actually children. Therefore, closing the kids' section will have a huge impact and it would surely be a detrimental one. If the above has merit, the argument does not hold water.
Lastly, did Regal Books actually experience a rise in customers' numbers after opening a new cafe? No evidence is provided that Regal Books actually benefited by opening a new cafe inside the store. It is possible that readers from the Regal Books are shifting to Monarch books because of this new cafe. Therefore, opening a new cafe in Monarch Books will prevent the rise in customer base. In addition to this, is Regal Books comparable to Monarch Books? It is possible that both books stores are quite different in their collection, facilities and attract completely different kinds of customers. For instance, extroverted readers like Regal Books while introverted people like Monarch Books. Hence, the conclusion drawn from the comparison is untenable.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the above three questions and can provide further details perhaps in the form of past customers' surveys and reviews, then it might be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation of opening a new cafe inside the Monarch Books.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 553 350
No. of Characters: 2743 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.849 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.743 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 202 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 169 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.433 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.486 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.767 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 19, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'open'
Suggestion: open
...ed to be answered. Firstly, why will opening a new cafe attract new customers? In ot...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 607, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... read in a library-like environment and thats why they previously chose Monarch Books...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'discontinue'
Suggestion: discontinue
...valid reasoning. Secondly, why will discontinuing the childrens section not have any impa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, lastly, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2813.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 553.0 441.139720559 125% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08679927667 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84932490483 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8150886764 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410488245931 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 900.9 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.2218648785 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.7666666667 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4333333333 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.06666666667 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304582690325 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0927257360008 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0931380331457 0.0701772020484 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182308530086 0.128457276422 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0724603329021 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.