The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While it may be true that opening a cafe in Monarch Book store might attract more customers, this author's argument doesn't consider dark sides of opening cafe for book lovers. Also argument is vague and rife with holes and assumptions.
First, author doensn't consider the fact that opening cafe might have negative impact on it's existing readers. Many readers prefer reading in a calm and peaceful environment. So opening cafe might not provide conducive environment for existing readers. While it may be true that a cafe might attract more customers, we can't ignore it's negetive impacts on existing readers.
Secondly, discounting the childern's book section to make room for cafe based on the data collected from national sensus which tells that there has been a significant reduction in percentage of population under age ten is vague and it needs more evidence to evaluate this argument. National sensus data is an agglomeration of data from various states. It could be possible that number of kids under the age of ten is very less in rest of the states while area around Monarch Books may continue to have same or increased number of kids. This scenario may lead to reduction in overall percentage of kids population. Therefore national sensus data is not credible enough to evaluate this argument.
Thirdly, author assumes that opening a cafe might help to better compete with Regal Books. Author has not mentioned anything related to success of opening cafe at Regal Books. We are not given any information that tells that Regal Books has garnered more customers after opening cafe. Also we don't have data to compare the number of customer's at Regal Books before and after opening cafe. So we can't simply assume that cafe at Regal Books is success and opening the same at Monarch Books might help in gaining more customer and to better compete with Regal Books.
Opening a cafe might attract more customers but author's argument is too parochial and further evidences are needed to evaluate this argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: While it may be true that a cafe might attract more customers, we can't ignore it's negetive impacts on existing readers.
Error: negetive Suggestion: negative
Sentence: Secondly, discounting the childern's book section to make room for cafe based on the data collected from national sensus which tells that there has been a significant reduction in percentage of population under age ten is vague and it needs more evidence to evaluate this argument.
Error: sensus Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: National sensus data is an agglomeration of data from various states.
Error: sensus Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Therefore national sensus data is not credible enough to evaluate this argument.
Error: sensus Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, and more. suppose it has declined number on kids, it is not equal to declined sales.
argument 3 -- OK, but suppose another book store is successful, it doesn't mean this book store will be successful too.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1659 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.4 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.178 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.629 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 116, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t more customers, this authors argument doesnt consider dark sides of opening cafe for...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 176, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... sides of opening cafe for book lovers. Also argument is vague and rife with holes a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...a cafe might attract more customers, we cant ignore its negetive impacts on existing...
^^^^
Line 5, column 614, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... overall percentage of kids population. Therefore national sensus data is not credible en...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 286, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ered more customers after opening cafe. Also we dont have data to compare the number...
^^^^
Line 7, column 294, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...e customers after opening cafe. Also we dont have data to compare the number of cust...
^^^^
Line 7, column 396, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ks before and after opening cafe. So we cant simply assume that cafe at Regal Books ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1687.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 336.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02083333333 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43777252968 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.455357142857 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 545.4 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.0015447142 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.2352941176 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7647058824 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76470588235 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204954937037 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0710024367842 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0611127597852 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11436113596 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477921759383 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.