“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
The owner of Movies Galore is proposing a reduction in operating expenses in all of
its chain stores. This reduction would consist of closing the stores 3 hours early and
reducing its stock to include movies released only within the last 5 years. To determine
if this proposition would be effective in increasing profits across the chain, several
pieces of additional information would be needed.
First, it is necessary to ask if the Marston store is similar to the other Movies Galore
stores. If this is not the case, the proposition might have quite the opposite of the
intended effect. The performance of the other stores would be a critical piece to this
proposition since what works for one store, may not work for another.
Second, what effect did the reduction in operating expenses had on store profits
in Marston? Because the declines in profit are termed to be “recent” and that the
reduction of operating expenses happened within the last month, this is unclear. It is
possible that only a brief period of low profits, consistent with variablity in the market,
spurred the reduction and this actually caused a greater decrease in profits. It is also
possible that no improvements have been seen in profits since the reduction,
rendering it ineffective. Data regarding profits from several months before and several
months after the reduction in operating expenses would be necessary to determine if
this reduction was at all helpful.
Finally, to what degree did each of the two changes made, closing early and getting
rid of older movies, affect profits? To determine if such a change would be helpful, it is
important to understand how each variable contributed to the end result, assuming
that it was effective. Perhaps closing early resulted in such a decline in the operating
costs as employees did not have to be paid, that the reduction in their stock was
unnecessary. It could be the the stock reduction actually decreased profits but this was
masked by the increased profits caused by closing early. A more in depth analysis of
the variables involved is necessary.
To accept such an extreme change in the practices of these stores, the preceeding
recommendations should be followed. Specifically, the necessity of the reduction in
other stores shoudl be determined, data regarding the effectiveness of the reduction in
operating expenses in the Marston store should be analyzed, and an analysis of the
components of this reduction should be completed
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 44 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 2023 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.726 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 9.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.84 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.295 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.218 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.792 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.03 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 31 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Its
...ction in operating expenses in all of its chain stores. This reduction would cons...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reducing
... closing the stores 3 hours early and reducing its stock to include movies released on...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Pieces
...ing profits across the chain, several pieces of additional information would be need...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Stores
...is similar to the other Movies Galore stores. If this is not the case, the propositi...
^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Intended
... might have quite the opposite of the intended effect. The performance of the other st...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Proposition
...res would be a critical piece to this proposition since what works for one store, may not...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...erating expenses had on store profits in Marston? Because the declines in profit...
^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reduction
...to be 'recent' and that the reduction of operating expenses happened within t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 35, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...es would be necessary to determine if this reduction was at all helpful. Finally...
^^^^
Line 39, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Rid
...anges made, closing early and getting rid of older movies, affect profits? To det...
^^^
Line 43, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...ntributed to the end result, assuming that it was effective. Perhaps closing early...
^^^^
Line 47, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Unnecessary
...that the reduction in their stock was unnecessary. It could be the the stock reduction ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 47, column 26, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ir stock was unnecessary. It could be the the stock reduction actually decreased prof...
^^^^^^^
Line 47, column 26, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ir stock was unnecessary. It could be the the stock reduction actually decreased prof...
^^^^^^^
Line 49, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Masked
...tually decreased profits but this was masked by the increased profits caused by clos...
^^^^^^
Line 51, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...ng early. A more in depth analysis of the variables involved is necessary. To a...
^^^
Line 55, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Recommendations
...tices of these stores, the preceeding recommendations should be followed. Specifically, the n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, may, regarding, second, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2161.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 408.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29656862745 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87255633908 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.463235294118 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 657.9 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2672789464 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.055555556 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6666666667 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.72222222222 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 31.0 5.15768463074 601% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0923694890374 0.218282227539 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.037321307443 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0407978741687 0.0701772020484 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0284675141234 0.128457276422 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0336137420335 0.0628817314937 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.