Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The paragraph states many points regarding the program, such as, the achievements of teachers, and the current position of students. However, some more details on the arguments require answers to make it more compelling for prospective students.
Firstly, the recommendation asserts that Pirouettes school has the most intensive program. However, it does not provide insights on the program structure, the curriculum, etc., Adding details of the program and its unique qualities can be For instance, the statement "The curriculum is set by a team of experts and has a fair balance of theoretical and practical aspects of dance." will provide a much clearer understanding of the program.
Secondly, the paragraph describes about the quality of the teachers. Although it claims, that the instructors have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world, it can be improvised by providing more information on the companies and places. For example, "Our teachers were a part of prestigious ballet companies such as ABC, XYZ, LMN etc.,(ABC, XYZ, LMN are the names of the ballet companies) and in Paris, London, Sydney, Singapore, and many more places as well.
The last statement talks about the alumni of the school and states that they are part of top dance companies. However, the word many can be ambigous and could be avoided. Providing the names of the companies, similar to the statement of the teachers is also helpful. For example, "Around four hundred students have joined ABC, XYZ, LMN and many more prestigious dance companies" .
Ultimately, the recommendation can be more persuasive, if it can contain more details on the program, achivements of teachers, and alumni.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: However, the word many can be ambigous and could be avoided.
Error: ambigous Suggestion: ambiguous
Sentence: Ultimately, the recommendation can be more persuasive, if it can contain more details on the program, achivements of teachers, and alumni.
Error: achivements Suggestion: achievements
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flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 272 350
No. of Characters: 1366 1500
No. of Different Words: 128 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.061 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.793 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.294 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.65 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 239, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... program and its unique qualities can be For instance, the statement 'The cu...
^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , ABC
...let companies such as ABC, XYZ, LMN etc.,ABC, XYZ, LMN are the names of the ballet c...
^^^^
Line 7, column 389, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y more prestigious dance companies' . Ultimately, the recommendation can b...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, well, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1459.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 271.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38376383764 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05734859645 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02907042266 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 141.0 204.123752495 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520295202952 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 437.4 705.55239521 62% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.6649232724 57.8364921388 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.583333333 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5833333333 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.70786347227 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285980934997 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100176506722 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103629970181 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133414903119 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102251651605 0.0628817314937 163% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.56 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.