Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
It is possible that Pirouettes Ballet School truly is one of the best dance schools in Elmtown, however the argument presented here is flawed in two important aspects. Not only does the writer not cite any credible evidence to back their claim, but they are also misinterpreting correlation for causation.
For one, this argument fails to provide the necessary information to believe the claim that Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. This is so incredibly important, because as a business it is in their interest for you to believe your child will successed at this program, regardless of the tangible evidence they can provide. For example, maybe they want to suggest that they have the most intensive program in Elmtown, but when they compete at dance competitions they score lower than any other dance school in the area. If we are not provided with the evidence to back their claim, we cannot simply believe blindly. Another example would be the dancers that are going on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. They do not provide the style of dance, nor the individual company names for us to research on our own. It is possible that these dance companies are not as legitament as they suggest.
Another critical flaw of this argument is that it confuses correlation with causation. Just because the teachers at this ballet school have danced with prestigious ballet companies all over the world, does not mean they are going to be the best teachers for children. This is so important to consider because teachers are one of the most important parts of any dance school. For example, what if a teacher went to the very best ballet program and had the highest score totals at all the dance competitions she attended, but was irascible and impatient with children. She would certainly make a poor quality teacher. Another thing to consider is that the argument claims that many of their students have went on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. This is not necessarily because of their training at Pirouettes Ballet School. It is possible that Elmtown is on the west coast and is known as a breeding ground for professional dancers. Maybe the dancers they are addressing have very supportive families and grew up in favorable environments compared to dancers at other dance schools.
This argument does have some merit though and it could be strengthened by two simple actions. For one, they should provide more evidence for the type of training they are providing and empirical results of this training. This could be done by randomized judges scoring the dancers and by providing a clear outline of their teaching practices. Another way to ameliorate this flawed argument would be to stop confusing correlation with causation. Instead, they should only suggest information that they have real results to prove.
To conclude, it would be easy to believe that Pirouettes Ballet School was an impeccable choice at first glance, but when we dig into the heart of the argument presented here many flaws emerge. There is simply no evidence to support their claims and they are assuming their dance school is the cause of incredible preformance, not just correlated with it. If we continue to support these sorts of arguments, we are in for trouble. We must hold evidence and causation at the utmost importance when weighing arguments.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 568 350
No. of Characters: 2781 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.882 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.896 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.574 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.037 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.406 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.37 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 704, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[6]
Message: Note: went is a past participle of "wend". Did you mean 'gone' (past participle of "go")?
Suggestion: gone
...claims that many of their students have went on to become professional dancers with ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, then, another thing, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 28.8173652695 232% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2842.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 568.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00352112676 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6456364984 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419014084507 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 877.5 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 4.96107784431 343% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2915934338 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.259259259 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.037037037 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.66666666667 5.70786347227 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338643166234 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092703638434 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0901751821301 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195075744052 0.128457276422 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106555056189 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.