The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.
The author of this argument is concluding that the Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land which is now a part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve.To support his claim the author states that there are 300 bird species that live in this area which are essential to the survival of this sanctuary.To further support the argument he points out that the proposed development would have disastrous consequences for their sanctuary.The author surely believes that this proposed plan will bring harm to the society and hence this plan should not be developed further. This argument rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
Firstly,the fact that the author compares the survival of 300 species of birds in the sanctuary with the new proposed development is baseless. Nowhere does the author provide any evidence which states that the newly developed land will cause harm to any of these species of birds.The author should have provided us with some evidence which would point out that the new construction will somehow endanger the 300 existing species of birds. The failure of the author to provide us with this evidence weakens his argument.
Secondly,the author states that only a small percentage of land will be used by Smith Corporation. This point makes the authors argument weak instead of supporting it.The author hastily assumes that this new development will have disastrous consequences for their sanctuary. It is quite possible that , very little or no trees would have to be cut down to ensure the development of this new proposal.The author should consider a much holistic approach before arriving to such conclusion and if the environment is going to be harmed in any way the author should have provided us with the evidence for the same.
Finally,a new hotel is being proposed by the Smith Corporation with the assurance that they will take utmost care to prevent the sanctuary. The author neglects this factors of the proposal and declares that their plans will bring nothing but harm to the sanctuary.This new development could help in increasing the revenue for the sanctuary. As it is quite possible that there are no hotels in the vicinity of this newly proposed hotel. The generalization that the author makes that no tourist will be attracted towards this development or no that no benefit will come out of this proposal is preposterous.
In conclusion, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands.
To make the argument more persuasive the author should have provided us with the evidence of how the newly proposed hotel will endanger the existing 300 species of birds.The author should also provide us the evidence concerning damage to the environment if any.The author should also clearly state that how the newly developed proposal will bring harm to their community. Thus, the author’s inference about the biased methodology may not hold grounds due to the illogical and baseless assumptions made.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 504 350
No. of Characters: 2494 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.738 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.948 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.632 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.368 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve.To support his claim the author states tha...
^^
Line 1, column 317, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ntial to the survival of this sanctuary.To further support the argument he points ...
^^
Line 1, column 448, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...strous consequences for their sanctuary.The author surely believes that this propos...
^^^
Line 4, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... unpersuasive as it stands. Firstly,the fact that the author compares the survi...
^^^^
Line 4, column 281, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e harm to any of these species of birds.The author should have provided us with som...
^^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ence weakens his argument. Secondly,the author states that only a small percent...
^^^^
Line 7, column 121, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...Smith Corporation. This point makes the authors argument weak instead of supporting it....
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... argument weak instead of supporting it.The author hastily assumes that this new de...
^^^
Line 7, column 301, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...eir sanctuary. It is quite possible that , very little or no trees would have to b...
^^
Line 7, column 401, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...re the development of this new proposal.The author should consider a much holistic ...
^^^
Line 11, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , a
...he evidence for the same. Finally,a new hotel is being proposed by the Smit...
^^
Line 11, column 265, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...bring nothing but harm to the sanctuary.This new development could help in increasin...
^^^^
Line 11, column 342, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...creasing the revenue for the sanctuary. As it is quite possible that there are no ...
^^
Line 11, column 540, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...e attracted towards this development or no that no benefit will come out of this p...
^^
Line 14, column 171, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...anger the existing 300 species of birds.The author should also provide us the evide...
^^^
Line 14, column 262, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...erning damage to the environment if any.The author should also clearly state that h...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 28.8173652695 180% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2555.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 492.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19308943089 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80690355832 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414634146341 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 780.3 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 134.63762063 57.8364921388 233% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 170.333333333 119.503703932 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.8 23.324526521 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.93333333333 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.25449101796 305% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235537231701 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0874724184025 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0881124637107 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126712481674 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100464977931 0.0628817314937 160% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 14.3799401198 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.